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Na Bole Tum Na Maine 29th July 2013 Written Episode Review

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Manager ki Sexy Beti ki chudai story

ye kahani kuch salon pahlay ki hai jab mai ek private company me kaam karta tha. Mai jis compani me kam karta tha us company ke manager mujhe bahut mante hai. Mai apne kabiliyat ke bal par unka assistant ban gaya tha. Mai kuch din me hi unke family se kafi ghul mil gaya tha. Unki ek ladki thi ka naam karishma tha aur uski umar lagbhag 22 saal ki thi. Ab meri nigahein us par thi. Wo had se jyada Salman Khany thi aur itni sundar thi ki jis din se maine use dekha tha mera man usi din se agaya tha. Wo bhi mujhe bahut dhyan se dekhne lagi thi.ek raat ko jab mai apne kamare me rat ko pahucha to kuch der ke baad karishma mere lliye khana leke ayi. Tab raat ke 11.oo baj raha tha.us wakt usne nighty pahan rakha tha. Wo mere paas ake baith gayi aur boli “sami,aaj mere ghar me sab so rahe hai aur yaha mere aur tumhare alawa aur koi bhi nahi hai. Tum bhi jawan ho mai bhi jawan hu. Maine apne saheliyo se Salman Khan ke bare me bahut kuch suna hai. Aaj mai dekhne chahti hu ki Salman Khan karne me kitna maza ata hai.maine jab ye baat uske muh se suna tab mujhe pata chala ki sirf mai hi nahi wo bhi mujhe chahati thi. Mai abhi kuch risk lena nahi chahta tha.so maine use kaha ki dekho tum mere liye chhoti ho.maine use samjhaya lekin jab wo nahi mani to maine usse bola ki thik hai ham ye tab karenge jab uske mom aur daid yaha nahi honge. Wo us raat chali gayi.ab mai us din ka intajar karne laga ki jis din manager apne wife ko leke ek din ke liye bhi out of station jaye. Ek din manager ko apne wife ke saath apne ek relative ke paas jana tha. Wo ane wife ko saath lekar out of station chale gaye. Jate waqt wo mujhse bole, “sami, ghar ka khayal rakhna aur mere wapas aane tak raat ko yahin sona.” maine kaha, “thik hai, sir”. Mai unlogo ko station chhodne ke liye gaya. Mai raat ko chhod ke wapas ane laga to raste se blue movie ki ek c.d leke aya. Jab mai kamare par pahucha to karishma ne khana khane kane ke liye bulaya. karishma ne bhi mere sath baith ke khana khaya. Khana khane ke baad jab ye dekhne ke liye ki wo mujhe rokti hai ki nahi mai bahar sone jane laga to karishma ne kaha, ” mujhe akele me dar lagta hai.” mujhe to man mangi murad mil rahi thi bhala mai kyon inkar karne laga. Maine kaha, “thik hai.” maine jo kuch socha nahi tha wo achanak ho gaya.

Raat ke 11 baje karishma aakar mujhse boli, “sami, mai janti hoon u r interested in me , aur tumko aaj mujhe chodna padega”. Maine kaha, ” mera lund bahut lamba aur mota hai. Tum abhi bachchi ho aur kunwari ho. Tumhari choot ek dam chhoti hai. Tum mere lund ko apni choot ke andar nahin le paogi. Tumhari choot phat jayegi.” karishma boli, “tum abhi mujhe bachchi samajh rahe ho. Maine tumse aise hi thode na chudwane ke liye kaha hai. Maine apne kayee boy friend se chudwaya hai. Mai 7 ″ lamba lund bhi apne choot ke andar le chuki hoon.” maine kaha, “thik hai, tumne apne kayee boy friend se c hudwaya hoga aur 7 ″ lamba lund bhi andar le chuki ho lekin tumne mere lund ko dekha nahin hai. Agar dekh logi to apna irada badal dogi.” karishma aur jyada josh me aa gayee aur boli, “tum apna kapde kholo, mai abhi tumhara lund dekhna chahti hoon jis par tumk o itna naaz hai.” mai to karishma ko chodana chahta hi tha isliye maine turant apna pant aur underwear dono utar diya. karishma mere lund ko dekh kar boli, “wah kya tagda lund paya hai tumne, main to isko zaroor apni choot ke andar loongi.. Mujhe tumhare lund se chudwane me bahut maza aayega. karishma ne kapde utarne shuru kar diye. Usane pahlay apana blouse utara aur phir bra ko khol diya. Bra ke khulte hi uski chuchiyan bahar aayee to mai to dekhta hi rah gaya. Uski chuchiyan ek dam gori aur chhoti chhoti thi. Uske nipple bhoore the aur bahut chhote the. Maine uske nipple ko apni ungliyon se masalna shuru kar diya to wo siskariyan bharne lagi. karishma ne mere lund ko sahlana shuru kar diya. Maine apne hoth uske hothon par rakh diye. Thodi der baad maine mini ki skirt bhi utar di. Uski chikni janghein dekh kar mujhe aur josh aa gaya. Main uski janghon ko sahlane laga. Kuch der baad maine uski panty bhi utar di. Jaise hi maine uski panty utari to mai aankhein phade hue uski choot ko dekhta rah gaya. Uski chikni aur gori choot dekh kar mera lund aur tan gaya. Uski choot ko dekh kar nahin lag raha tha ki wo chudwa chuki hai. Uski choot par abhi theek se baal bhi nahin uge the. Maine uski choot ko sahlana shuru kiya to wo aur josh me aane lagi aur kuch der baad boli, “oh sami , tum kitne achche ho. Mujhe ab bardast nahin hota. Jaldi chodo mujhe. Main tumhara poora lund apni choot ki gahrayee tak lena chahti hoon. Dalo ise meri choot me aur phad do meri choot ko.” wo itni josh me aa gayee thi ki turant hi zameen par doggy style me ho gayee aur boli, “sami, ab jaldi se meri chudayee karo. Ek jhatke se hi dal do apna poora lund meri chut me. Mere chillane ki tum koi



Killer shayaris are back!!
Using ur brain is strictly prohibited...
1) Mehbooba ke pyaar mein mar gaya
peter,
Hero Honda Splendor 80km/Litre
2) IPL ke matches dekh ke logon ko
maza aa raha hai,
12 saal se CID ka Daya ek hi Qualis
Chala raha hai
3) Na jaan na pehchaan, tu mera
mehmaan,
and the award goes to A.R.Rehman.
4) Manchester United mein khelta hai
ROONEY
ACP Pradhuymann ne kaha " aakhir
chahta kya hain khooni"
5) Kisiko na thi, mere pyaar ki khabar,
Kisiko na thi, mere pyaar ki khabar,
Diagram galat ho gaya, rubber de
rubber
6) Teri adao pe main waari waari..
Dial 139 for railway enquiry.
7) Na jeene ki aarzoo na marne ka
khauf..
The number you're trying is currently
switched off.
Apne gamo ko bas dil me daba lo
Naya godrej powder hair dye, bas
kaato gholo aur laga lo
9) yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi
kabtak....
Cameraman praful ke saath deepak
chaurasia AAJ TAK..
10) mehgai ke is daur mein karna
padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
mehgai ki iss daur mein karna padta
hai apne kharche par kabooo..
ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya
jano ramesh babu...
11) mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan...
mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan..
LIFEBUOY hai jahan tandurusti hai
wahan...
12) Blood donate karne se pehle
hamesha uska group janchna...
Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha
uska group janchna...
BASANTI in kutton ke samne mat
nachna....
13) Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole
Nandlala ...
Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole
Nandlala ...
Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life
Jhingalala ..!!
14) Romeo ne juliet se kaha ek sach..
Romeo ne juliet se kaha ek sach..
Asali masale sach sach
MDH.....MDH ...!
15) 1 ladki ne kiya ladke ko gaal pe
kiss
1 ladki ne kiya ladke ko gaal pe kiss
Mutual funds are subjected to market
risk
16) Aatma Gayi Shareer Puraana ...
Aatma Chhod Gayi Shareer Puraana ..
Didi Tera Devar Deewana ..
17) Naach bulbul naach, tujhe paisa
milega
hum CID se hain, koi apne jagah se
nahi hilega..
like to bnta h bos


PART 41:

Armaan woke up next day, feeling very thirsty.
He opened his eyes to find Ridhimaa sitting on his bedside.
He smiled at her.

Ridhimaa: Good morning.

Armaan: Good morning.

Ridhimaa: Armaan tumhe pyas lagi hai na?

Armaan: Haan. Tumhe kaise pata?

Ridhimaa: Tumne raat me uthkar paani manga tha. Yahan paani khatm ho gaya tha. Jab tak main paani lekar aayi tum so chuke the.

Armaan stared at her.

Ridhimaa: Kya hua Armaan?

Armaan: Tum raat se yahan par mere liye pani lekar baithi ho?

Ridhimaa: Haan to?

Armaan: I am sorry. Tumhe meri wajah se...

Ridhimaa: Ye sab tumhare liye thode hi kiya hai maine. Ye sab to maine apni khushi ke liye kiya hai. Achha ab chalo pani piyo.

She helps him sit up and then makes him drink the water.

Armaan: (holding her hand) Tumhe mere liye raat ko uthna pada. Bahut thak gayi ho na?

Ridhimaa: Armaan! Main bilkul fresh hoon. Aur tumhare liye ek raat ki neend kya tumhare liye to main apni poori zindagi kurbaan kar sakti hoon.

Armaan: (kissing her hand) Ridhimaa!

Ridhimaa: Kyun kewal tum hi ye sab kar sakte ho Dr.Armaan Mallik? Tumhari information ke liye bata doon ki main bhi tumse utna hi pyar karti hoon jitna ki tum mujhse karte ho...

She faltered under the gaze of Armaan. Armaan puts her hand to his heart. Ridhimaa tried to pull her hand back.

Armaan: Kya hua? Meri dil ki dhadkano me tumhe apna naam sunai nahi diya?

Ridhimaa: (blushing) Armaan main ghar ja rahi hoon. Abhi wardboy aayega tumhe sponge bath dene. Tum fresh ho jaana. Fir tumhe aaj discharge kiya jayega.

Armaan: Ridhimaa tumhe sach me koi problem nahi ki main tumhare ghar me...

Ridhimaa: Nahi Armaan.

Armaan left her hand. She stands up and comes near him and kisses his forehead.

Ridhimaa: Take care. Bye.

Armaan: Bye basket.

Shashank was going to leave Armaan to his house. Ridhimaa was very anxious.

Armaan: Ridhimaa main tumhare ghar ja raha hoon LOC par nahi.

Ridhimaa: Tum jahan bhi jao meri bala se. Mujhe kya padi hai. Lekin agar tumne zyada uchal kood karne ki koshish ki to mujhse bura koi nahi hoga.

Atul: Ab hitler ke farmaan ke baad kya majaal jo Armaan uth bhi jaaye. Kyun Armaan?

Armaan: Haan.

But Ridhimaa was still not satisfied.

Armaan: (in a very passionate voice full of emotions)

Tum wakai achhi ladki ho
Ya mujhko achhi lagti ho
Chehre ki udaasi door karo
Kyun ji apna ranjoor karo
Wo waade wafa nibhane ke
Tum bhool gayi mujhe yaad rahe
Ab kin baaton me khoi ho
Ab kin sochon me doobi ho
Chehre ko zara uthao to
Aankhen bhi char karo dekho
Tum gam chodo dil ki baat kaho
Tum hansti achhi lagti ho.

Ridhimaa looked at him in pure shock.

Atul: Wow Armaan!

Ridhimaa: Ye kiski lines hain?

Armaan: Mere dil ki. Kyun?

Ridhimaa: Armaan!

Armaan: Tumne lines to suni lekin unhe samjha bhi ki main samjhaun?

Ridhimaa blushed.

Shashank: Lagta hai samajh gayi. Achha Armaan tumne ye lines kahan se li?

Armaan: Kyun sir? Padma Aunty ko fir se patana hai kya?

Shashank: Haan.

Armaan: Koi baat nahi sir, main aapko private tuitions de diya karunga.

All laughed.

Ridhimaa: Achha ab jao sab log.

Armaan: Bye. Fir milenge.

Ridhimaa: Meri khushnaseebi hogi jo aapke darshan honge.

Armaan: Tathastu.

He waved and set off with Dr.Shashank who was supporting him. But he had done what he had intended. Ridhimaa was smiling to herself.

Ridhimaa and Anjali reached home after the day's work.

Ridhimaa: Hye nani aaj bahut thak gayi.

Nani: (hugging her) Meri bachhi.

Anjali: Armaan kahan hai?

Ridhimaa: Usne zyada pareshaan to nahi kiya na aap logon ko?

Nani: Nahi Ridhimaa. Aaj to wo bed se utha hi nahi. Lag raha hai use kisi ne bahut zor se daanta hai.

Ridhimaa: Maine use daanta thode hi tha. Bas warning di thi.

Anjali: Bechara Armaan. Achha Ridz batao tum dono ki ladayi kaise khatm ho gayi?

Ridhimaa: Kaun si ladayi? Hum log lad kab rahe the?

Anjali: Poochna hi bekar hai. Main jaakar Armaan se mil kar aati hoon. Coming?

Ridhimaa: Main fresh ho jaati hoon. Fir aaungi.

Anjali goes to meet Armaan while Ridhimaa goes to her room. Anjali brought Armaan to the living room and they helped him to the sofa. Ridhimaa too enters, oblivious of Armaan's presence.

Ridhimaa: Aaj to kamaal ho gaya. Armaan apne bed se nahi utha. Wow!

Padma: Bahut pyar aa raha hai kya us par?

Ridhimaa: (smiling) Haan bahut. Wo to hai hi pyara.

Armaan: Really?

Ridhimaa looks around and finds Armaan sitting on the sofa. She turns to leave but the way was blocked due to Shashank standing in the doorway. Ridhimaa's face had turned a deep shade of red.

Shashank: Aaj meri beti ko kis par bahut pyar aa raha hai?

Ridhimaa bowed her head.

Armaan: Main bhi wahi poochne ja raha tha. Aakhir main bhi to jaanun wo kaun hai.

Ridhimaa: (embarrassed) Main... main ja rahi hoon.

Shashank: Arrey abhi to aayi ho. Thodi der sabke saath baitho.

He pushes her on the sofa beside Armaan and he himself goes and sits beside Padma.

Armaan: Haan to batao basket wo kaun hai jin par aapko bahut pyar aa raha hai.

Ridhimaa: Armaan... main ja rahi hoon.

Armaan: Ye kya ek hi line bole ja rahi ho?

Nani: Meri bachhi ko pareshaan karna chodo.

Ridhimaa looks at her gratified.

Armaan: Main kahan aapki bachhi ko pareshaan kar raha hoon? Usko pareshaan karne ka matlab hai khud pareshaan hona. Aur banda is haalat me pareshaan nahi hona chahta. Aur Ridhimaa. Tumne nahi poocha main kaisa hoon?

Ridhimaa: Kaise ho?

Armaan: Bahut pyara hoon. Hai na?

Ridhimaa: Armaan!

Armaan: Haan main Armaan. Tumhara Armaan.

Ridhimaa blushed while the others smiled.


AAJ AAYE HO TUM KAL ..CHALE JAAOGE
YE MOHABBAT KO APNI GAWARAA NHI
UMAR BHAR KA SAHARAA BANO TO BANO
DO GHADI KA SAHARA ...SAHARA NHI ..

YE MERE HUMNASHII CHAL KAHI OR CHAL
IS GALI MAI AB APNA GUZARA NHI

hihihihihi :v GOOD AFTERNOON FRNDS BROS N MY GINI CHUNI SISO


Killer shayaris are back
Using ur brain is strictly, V.Strictly prohibited...

1.) Mehbooba ke pyaar mein mar gaya peter,
Hero Honda Splendor 80km/Litre

2.) IPL ke matches dekh ke logon ko maza aaraha hain,
12 saal se CID ka Daya ek hi Qualis Chala raha hain

3.) Na jaan na pehchaan, tu mera mehmaan,
And the award goes to A.R.Rehman.

4.) Manchester United mein khelta hain ROONEY
ACP Pradhuymann ne kaha " aakhir chahta kya hain khooni"

5.) Kisiko na thi, mere pyaar ki khabar,
Kisiko na thi, mere pyaar ki khabar,
Diagram galat ho gaya, rubber de rubber

6.) Teri adao pe main waari waari..
Dial 139 for railway enquiry.

7.) Na jine ki aarzu na marne ka khauf..
The number your trying is currently switched off.

8.) Apne gamo ko bas dil me daba lo.
Naya godrej powder hair dye,Bas kaato gholo aur laga lo.

09.) yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak....
Cameraman praful ke saath deepak chaurasia AAJ TAK..

10.) mehgai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
mehgai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano Ramesh babu...

11.) mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan...
mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan..
LIFEBUOY hai jahan tandurusti hai wahan...

12.) Blood donate karne sez pehle hamesha uska group janchna...
Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna...
BASANTI in kuton ke samne mat nachna....

13.) Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...
Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...
Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala ..!!

14.) Romio ne juliet se kaha ek sach..
Romio ne juliet se kaha ek sach..
Asali masale sach sach
MDH.....MDH ...!

15.) 1 ladki ne kiya ladke ko gaal pe kiss
1 ladki ne kiya ladke ko gaal pe kiss
Mutual funds are subjected to market risks

16.) Aatma Chhod Gayii Shareer Puraana ...
Aatma Chhod Gayii Shareer Puraana ..
Didi Tera Devar Deewana ..

17.) Naach bulbul naach, tujhe paisa milega
hum CID se hai,koi apne jagah se nahi hilega..


Haqeeqat jhel nhn skte ho to baqwas kyun kerte ho nadjii wahabionnn misyaar ki pedal waron


#2801

Salaam, to the admin n members of this page..Im not a Mumbaian, Hum Hyderabad se hai, kisi wajah se ye page humare wall par aaya, n i just fell in love wit ths page.. kyu ki jis time par i was very upset, vry depressed ths page has just chnge ma way of thinkng , the negativity of ma mind its all just vanish,i knw it sounds funny but it has happened wit me, i never even comment on any page till now, i did here bcz ths page have change me , may be ths is the gift of Allah, a solution to all ma questions, each confession on ths page is a solution to my questions wich i was unable to find on my own. i was strugglng wit my life due to some personal issues, n broken relationshps but now im feelng vry good.. Aur bahut se confessions karne hai, jo hum life mein kisi se share nai kare, Insha Allah is page share karenge. jisse humari life aur behtar hojaye..

I really wants to say a heartfull thanks to the admin of ths page n all the memebrs jiske confessions se humare sochne ka nazariya hi badal gaya.. THANKS TO ALL.. ALLAH HAFIZ, DUA ME GUZARISH..

RaY....


HA HA HAAAAA HHHHAAAAAA

Wife:
I love you baby..

Husband (softly) :
I love you too..

Wife :
Upset kyun lag rahe ho....??

Husband :
Bas thoda mood off tha..

Wife:
Doston ke saath to bade khush rehte ho,
aur mere saath hi drama..

Husband (pyar se) :
Aisa kuch nahi jaanu,
tabiyat thodi theek nahi hai..

Wife:
Haan abhi dost phone karega to 2 sec mein tabiyat theek ho jayegi..

Husband:
Dost kahan se aa gaye,
mera mood thoda upset hai bas..

Wife:
Mere saath hi ye sab hota hai,
friends ke saath enjoy karte ho,
badi has has ke pictures click karwate ho.
Ya koi aur ladki pasand aa gayi..??

Husband (aur jyada pyar se) :
arrey, kahan se kahan baat le jaa rahi ho..?

Wife:
Aaj sab clear hoga !!

Husband: Kya clear karna hai jaanu,
aisa kya ho gaya..??

Wife (khud confused) :
Jab tum khud clear nahi,
tumhe kuch pata nahi to main kya bolun..!!

Husband (trying to act smart) :
Tumhe hua kya hai ??
kis baat pe upset ho ??
Batao!!

Wife:
Tumhari sangat hi kharab hai !!

Husband:
Mere saath to tum ho!!

Wife:
Ab bohot ho gaya,
ab aur nahi!!

Husband (fully crashed) :
Hua kya hai ?
ye to bata do..

Wife:
Hum ab saath nahi reh sakte?..

Husband:
Ye baat kahan se aayi?..

Wife:
I want Divorce..

Husband:
Hmmmm OK !!..

Wife (gone crazy) :
Haan, yehi chahte ho tum to,
fir tum jo marzi kar sako..

Husband:
Arrey tumne khudne bola abhi,
maine kya galat kaha..??

Wife:
Itni problem thi to bola kyun nahi,
main khud bina bole chali jaati tumhari life se..

Husband (apne baal pakad kar) :
Mujhe meri galti to bata do..

Wife:
Waqt aane pe pata chalegi tumhe apne aap, jab main chali jaungi..

Husband:
Acha, to main wait karta hoon sahi waqt ka..

Wife:
Tum serious kab hoge..??

Husband:
Ab kya hospital mein admit ho jaun,
serious hone ke liye?..

Wife:
Go to hell..!!

Husband:
Dont call me again !!.

AFTER 3 HOURS..

Wife:
Tumhe pata hai na,
main tumhare bina nahi reh sakti jaanu,
sorry !!! I love you my baby..

Husband (Sab bhool kar) :
Acha, I love you tooo...

Wife:
Upset kyun lag rahe ho ?............... !!!!


»♥« gσσđ nooon»♥«
↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↓↑↓↑↓↑↓
»♥« đєαя ƒяιєηđѕ »♥«
↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↓↑↓↑↓↑↓
♥нανє α βεαυτιζυll dåy
↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↓↑↓↑↓↑↓


confession 10681 (CS)

hey guyz i m 17 m gurgaon ......
Meri problm ye h agar me apni gf ko gud morning wish na karoon roz subah to wo muh fulaake beth jaati hai :-( :-\ :-\ Nautanki karti hai

CS# raat ko hi gud morning ka text chhod diya kar :-D


मुंबई को अपने इशारों पर चलाने वाली शिव सेना के मुखिया कल रात भर सड़कों पर घूमते रहे हाई कोर्ट के डर से. जानें क्या है मामला और क्यों उतरना पड़ा बेटे समेत सड़क पर उद्धव ठाकरे को http://aajtak.intoday.in/story/uddhav-thackeray-takes-stock-of-potholes-as-hc-issues-notice-to-bmc-1-737591.html


hii.....guys. lets start Salman Khan chat with me.....

@gouri


Chat Post****

Jo bore ho rhe h Ajao Masti Ki Pathshala Shuru Ho Gyi Hai <3 :*

Lets Start Chit Chat <3 :*


Aaj ke nun tym ka joke suno :D

mr.mayank kapoor ji ko lgta hai ki mr. Amar sharma ladki hai :D
ldka nhi :D

ab chalo fast coment maro jitno ko yaha lgta hai main ladka nhi hun toh plzz block kro bcoz ab amar sharma thak gaya hai logo ke blame leke shak leke toh come fast right now block me (y)

-thank yew (y)


एक सवाल:-
अगर आपके सामने कोई आपकी गौमाता को काटने की बात करे तो आप क्या करोगे???
जवाब अवश्य दे!


Wo larki shayad pagal thi
Din raat hi gum sum rehti thi
Kuch sharm o haya ka pekar thi
Kuch narm mizaji rakhti thi
Ankhon me neem nasha sa tha
Baataon se deewani lagti thi
Hamraz na tha us ka koi
Bas khud se batain krti thi
Ik sharm k anchal mein aksar
Jazbat chupaye rakhti thi
Darti thi juda ho jane se
Ya pyar se shayed darti thi
Kya sabar tha us deewani ka
Kya zabt e mohabbat rakhti thi
Hai rashk mujhe us pagli pay
Kya khoob mohabbat karti thi..


Koi bhartakti aatma hai :-P
¤
<3
¤
hai to aajao chat krte hai :-* <3
¤
¤
#kaushal :-*


Dosto ajj main app sabhko moka de rahi huu.... dekhiya muje bhi jan naa hain ki app sabh mere bare main kya sochte hoo.... bhale hii muje inn sabh se farak nhi padta kuike sabhka soch main nhi badal sakti jabh tak woh kudh naa badale....ok :)

app sabhko meri ek buri adat....
our meri achi adat boleni hain.... chalo dil khulke kaho dosto ..... sach kahena.... jo bhi dil main hain ^_^


MY BACK IS NOT A VOICE MAIL....SO SPEAK INFRONT OF ME....


Satsang Mantras

Sarve’tra sukhinah santu Sarve santu niramayah Sarve bhadrani pashyantu Maa kaschit dukhamapnuyat May everyone in the world be happy. May everyone be healthy. May all experience what is good. May there be no suffering. ********** Asato ma sad-gamaya Tamaso ma jyotir gamaya Mrityor ma amrtm gamaya May God lead us from the unreal to the real, From darkness to light, From death to immortality. ********** Om Shanti Shanti Shanti. Peace, peace, peace be with all.

Ganesh

Vinayaka Charanam Kalainirai Ganapathy Charanam Charanam Gajamukha Ganapathy Charanam Charanam Karpagha Vinayaka Charanam Charanam Bala Vinayaka Charanam Charanam Thundi Vinayaka Charanam Charanam Selva Vinayaka Charanam Charanam Narthana Vinayaka Charanam Charanam Kalyana Vinayaka Charanam Charanam Sindhoora Vinayaka Charanam Charanam Raja Vinayaka Charanam Charanam Siddhi Buddhi Vinayaka Charanam Charanam Pathala Vinayaka Charanam Charanam Varasiddhi Vinayaka Charanam Charanam Pillayarpathi Vinayaka Charanam Charanam Navasakthi Vinayaka Charanam Charanam Velleruku Vinayaka Charanam Charanam Sarvasiddhi Vinayaka Charanam Charanam Vallabhai Vinayaka Charanam Charanam Maharaja Vinayaka Charanam Charanam Valampuri Vinayaka Charanam Charanam Vijaya Vigneshwara Charanam Charanam Jaya Vigneshwara Charanam Charanam Pahi pahi gajanana paahi paahi gajaanana paarvathi nandha gajaanana eka dhantha gajaanana aneka dhantha gajaanana lambodhara hey gajaanana lamba uragaDhara gajaanana sookShma nethra gajaanana anantha karNa gajaanana mooShika vaahana gajaanana modhaka priya gajaanana vaamana roopa gajaanana viGna vinaashaka gajaanana maheshwara puthra gajaanana maam paripaalaya gajaanana

Gaaiye Ganapati Gaaiye Ganapati Jagvandana, Sankar-Suvan Bhavaanee-Nandana Siddhi-Sadan, Gajavadan Vinaayak, Kripaasindhu Sundara Sab Laayak. Modak-Priya, Mud-Mangal Daataa, Biddyaa-Baaridhi Buddhi-Vidhaataa. Maangat Tulasidaas Kar Jore, Basahin Raamsiya Maanas More. Jai Ganesh, Jai Ganesh… Jai Ganesh, Jai Ganesh, Jai Ganesh Deva Maatha Jaaki Paarvathi Pitha Maha Deva(2) Ek Danth Dayaavanth Chaar Bhujaa Dhaari (2) Maadhae Par Tilak Sohay Moosh Ki Savaari (2) Paan Chadhe Phool Chadhe Aur Chadhe Meva Ladvan Ka Bhogh Lagae Santh Karae Seva (Jai Ganesh...) Andhae Ko Aankh Deth Kodhin Ko Kaaya (2) Bhaanjan Ko Putru Deth Nirdhan Ko Maaya (2) Subh Shaam Sharan Aayae Safal Keejae Seva Maatha Jaaki Paarvathi Pitha Maha Deva (Jai Ganesh…) Ganesha Stuti Ganesha sharanam, sharanam Ganesha (2) Vaageesha sharanam, sharanam Vaageesha (2) Saareesha sharanam, sharanam Saareesha (2) Ganesha sharanam, sharanam Ganesha Ganaraja Gajanana Ganaraja Gajanana Gavaho (2) Shendura Charchita Shunda Virajita Modaka Hasta Pahavo (Ganaraja...) Vighna Vinashaka Buddhi Prakashaka To Vara Dayaka Dhyava Ho (Ganaraja...) Anandatmaja Chintita Se Tujha Ha Bhava Sindhu Tarava Ho (Ganaraja...)

Sharanu Siddhi Vinayaka Sharanu Siddhi Vinayaka Sharanu Vidya Pradhayaka Sharanu Parvathi Thanaya Mooruthi Sharanu Mooshika Vahana (Sharanu Siddhi…) Nittala Nethrane Gowri Suthane Naga Bhooshan Priyane Thatilathaankitha Komalanagane Karna Kundala Dhaarane Hey Gajanana Gajanana Hey Gajanana Gowri Thanaya Gajanana Hey Shiva Nandhana Jaya Jagavandhana Vidya Buddhi Pradhayaka Parama Niranjana Mooshika Vahana Bhakthipureeshwara Gajanana Jaya Vijaya Karana Jaya Vijaya Karana Vigna Varana Gajamukha Vandhitha Eka Dhantha Maha kayaa Thaptha Kaanchana Sannibha Lambodhara Visalaksha Mooshakothama Vahana (Jaya…) Parvathi Hrudaya Nandha Shanmughapriya Agraja Parama Purusha Vakthra Thunda Dhumra Varna Shiva Sutha (Jaya…) Vigneswara Vinayaka Vigneswara Vinayaka Viswadhara Namostuthe Sura Muni Vanditha Vinayaka Bhavabhaya Naasha Vinayaka Sharanam Charanam Vinayaka (2) Vishwadhara Namostuthe (Vigneshwara)

Shuklam Bharadharam Ganapathi Mantram Shuklam Bharadharam Ganapathi Mantram Nithyam Nithyam Japo japo Vighna Vinayaka Vishwa Dhyapaka Veera Ganapathi Bhajo Bhajo Shree Ganesha, Shree Ganesha, Shree Ganesha Pahimam Jaya Ganesha, Jaya Ganesha, Jaya Ganeshas Rakshamam

Saraswathi

Saradhe Saradhe Saradhe Saradhe, Chaturmukhabharye Saradhe, Saradhe Saradhe, Vanisaraswathi Saradhe Saradhe Saradhe, Shankarapoojitha Saradhe, Saradhe Saradhe, Srughagireesa Saradhe Saradhe Saradhe, Pusthakahasthe Saradhe Saradhe Saradhe, Veenapani Saradhe Saradhe Saradhe, Adhbuthasarithe Saradhe Saradhe Saradhe, Mayurakamane Saradhe Sharade Sharade Gnanadayike Sharade Sharade Gnanadayike Sharade Sharade Mokshadayike Sharade Sharade Gnanadayike Parvathi Bhagavathi Bhakthidayike Paramahamsa Ramakrishna Paada Poojithe Sharade Sharade Sharadhambike (Sharadhe) Bhakthi Dayike, Mukthi Dayike Moksha Dayike Sharadambike Sharade Sharade Sharadhambike Sharadhambike

Karthikeya

Shambu Kumara Shambu Kumara Haro Hara Shiva Sankari Bala Haro Hara Uma Sutha Shanmukha Guha Shiva Sharavana Bhava Haro Hara (Shambu…) Pazhani Girisha Haro Hara Shiva Bhakthi Pureesa Haro Hara Hara Hara Hara Hara Shiva Shiva Shiva Shiva Sharavana Bhava Guha Haro Hara Chinna Chinna Muruga Chinna Chinna Muruga Vaa Singaara Muruga Vaa Chinna Chinna Chinna Chinna Chinna Chinna Chinna Chinna Chinna, Chinna Chinaa Chinna Chinna Muruga Vaa Singaara Muruga Vaa Bala Kumara Vaa Vaa BhakthargaL Neya Nee Vaa Swaminatha Vaa Vaa Shakthi Vela Nee Vaa (Chinna *13) Karthikeya Vaa Vaa Kandha Kumara Nee Vaa VaLLi ManaLa Vaa Vaa Vadivel Muruga Nee Vaa (Chinna *13) Subramanyam

Subramanyam Subramanyam Shanmukhanatha Subramanyam Shivasharavanabhava Subramanyam Gurusharavanabhava Subramanyam Shiva Shiva Hara Hara Subramanyam Hara Hara Shiva Shiva Subramanyam

Radha-Krishna

Govinda Jaya Jaya Govinda jaya jaya Gopal jaya jaya Radha raman Hari Govinda jaya jaya...2 Gokulgami Prabhu Govinda jaya jaya Paramdhami Prabhu Govinda jaya jaya Govinda jaya jaya... Anandakanda Prabhu Govinda jaya jaya Nandanandan Prabhu Govinda jaya jaya Govinda jaya jaya Vrindavanvasi Prabhu Govinda jaya jaya Sakhiona swami Prabhu Govinda jaya jaya Govinda jaya jaya Atmana Sangi Prabhu Govinda jaya jaya Rasna rangi Prabhu Govinda jaya jaya Govinda jaya jaya Vrajlila kidhi Prabhu Govinda jaya jaya Dasni khabar lidhi Govinda jaya jaya Govinda jaya jaya... Radhe Govinda Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe Govinda Vrindavana Chhanda Vrindavana Chhanda Anathanatha Deenabandhu Radhe Govinda Nandakumara Navneetchora Radhe Govinda Vrindavana Chhanda Vrindavana Chhanda Anathanatha Deenabandhu Radhe Govinda Purana Purusha Punyashloka Radhe Govinda Vrindavana Chhanda Vrindavana Chhanda Anathanatha Deenabandhu Radhe Govinda

Pandharinatha Panduranga Radhe Govinda Vrindavana Chhanda Vrindavana Chhanda Anathanatha Deenabandhu Radhe Govinda Jaya Jaya Vithala Jaya Hari Vithala Radhe Vrindavana Chhanda Vrindavana Chhanda Anathanatha Deenabandhu Radhe Govinda Gosamrakshana Gopinatha Radhe Govinda Vrindavana Chhanda Vrindavana Chhanda Anathanatha Deenabandhu Radhe Govinda Venivilola Vijaya Gopala Radhe Govinda Vrindavana Chhanda Vrindavana Chhanda Anathanatha Deenabandhu Radhe Govinda Bhaktha Vatsala Bhagvatha Priya Radhe Govinda Vrindavana Chhanda Vrindavana Chhanda Anathanatha Deenabandhu Radhe Govinda Rama Krishna Krishna Rama Radhe Govinda Vrindavana Chhanda Vrindavana Chhanda Anathanatha Deenabandhu Radhe Govinda Kalyana Krishna Govinda Hari Narayana Govinda Kalyana Krishna Govinda Bhakthajana Priya Govinda Kalyana Krishna Govinda Bhagavatha Priya Govinda Kalyana Krishna Govinda Murali Manohara Govinda Kalyana Krishna Govinda Venugana Priya Govinda Kalyana Krishna Govinda Kaliyamardana Govinda Kalyana Krishna Govinda Karunasagara Govinda Kalyana Krishna Govinda

He Govinda He Gopala He Govinda he Gopala, ab to jivan hare He Govinda rakho sharan ab to jivan hare...He Govinda Nir pivan hetu gayo Sindhu ke kinare...(2) Sindhu bich basatgraha charan lai pahare...He Govinda Char prahar yuddha bhayo lai gayo mazdhare...(3) Nak kan duban lage Krushna ko pukare.......He Govinda Dwarika me shabda gayo, shor bhayo bhare.....(2) Shankha chakra gada padma, garuda lai sidhare..He Govinda "Sur" kahe Shyama suno, sharan ho tihare.....(2) Abaki bar par karo, nanda ke dulare........He Govinda Krishna Jinaka Nam Hai Krishna jinaka nam hai, Gokul jin ka dham hai Aise Shri Bhagawan ko, varamvar pranam hai Yashoda jinki maiya hai, nanda jinaka bapaiya hai Aise Shri Nandalal ko, varamvar pranam hai Lut lut dahi makhan khayo, vrajme jake ghenu charayo Aise Shri Gopal ko, varam var pranam hai Radha jinki pyari hai, Mohan jinka vilasi hai Aise Radheshyam ko, varam var pranam hai Arjun ko updesh sunayo, Gitaji ka gnan sunayo Aise yogi krishna ko, varam var pranam hai Krishna jinaka nam hai, Gokul jin ka dham hai Aise shri bhagawan ko, varam var pranam hai. Radhe Govinda Bhajo Radhe Govinda bhajo Radhe Gopal Radhe Govinda bhajo Radhe Gopal...3 Syama sundara madana mohana Radhe Gopal Murali manohara Radhe Gopal.....Radhe Govinda.. Shanka chakra gadha dhara Radhe Gopal Murali manohara Radhe Gopal.....Radhe Govinda Radhe Govinda bhajo Radhe Gopal Radhe Govinda bhajo Radhe Gopal....3

Anantha Roopa Anantha Roopa Anantha Nama Aadhi Moola NarayaNA Viswa Roopa Viswa Dhara Viswavyapaka NarayaNa Viswa thejasa Pragnya Swaroopa (2) Hey Dhaya Sindho Krishna Hey Kripa Sindho Krishna Anantha Sayana Hey Jaganaatha Kamala Nayana Hey Madhava Karuna Saagara KaLiya Nardhana (2) Hey Dhaya Sindho Krishna Hey Kripa Sindho Krishna Radhe Shyama Radhe Shyama Hey Ghanashyama Radha Madhava Mangala Dhama Radhe… Nandha Nandhana Govinda, Navanitha Chora Govinda Naradhapriya Govinda, Natajanapaala Govinda NarayaNa Govinda (2) Hari Govinda Gopi Janapriya Govinda (Radhe…) Puranapurusha Govinda, Punyashloka Govinda Papavinasana Govinda, Pahi Murare Govinda NarayaNa Govinda (2) Hari Govinda Gokula Nanadhana Govinda (Radhe…) Bhaktha Vatsala Govinda, Pakshi Vahana Govinda Bhagavada Priya Govinda, Brindavana Hari Govinda NarayaNa Govinda (2) Hari Govinda Gopi Janapriya Govinda (Radhe…) Srinivasa Govinda Sri Venkatesa Govinda Sritha Jana Paala Govinda Shank Chakra Dhara Govinda NarayaNa Govinda (2) Hari Govinda Gokula Nandana Govinda (Radhe…Shyama) Yamuna Theera Vihari Yamuna Theera Vihari Brindhavana Sanchaari Govardhana Giridhaari Gopala Krishna Murari

Radha Kunjavihari Murali Gaana Murari (Yamuna) Giridhara Gopala Giridhara Gopala (Bala) Shyamala Sareera Kousthuba Haara Pitambhara dhara Prabho Murare Nandha Sukhumaara Mana Mohana Kaara Brindhavana Chara Thulasi Haara Giridhara Gopala Kamsa Vihara Meera Manasa Sarovihara NarayaNa Gopal Guruvayurpoora Srihari Krishna NarayaNA Gopal Mukhunda Madhava Murali Dhara NarayaNA Gopal NarayaNa Gopal Shri Hari NarayaNa Gopal NarayaNa Gopal Shri Hari NarayaNa Gopal Mohana Murali Dhaari Murari NarayaNa Gopal Mukhundha Madhava Murali Dhari NarayaNa Gopal Namo Madhavaya NarayaNaya Namo Madhavaya Nagendhra Sayanaya Naradhadi Vandithaya Shri Vasudevaya Padma Bhanurupaya NarayaNaya Namo Madhavaya NarayaNa Hari NarayaNa Kaarunya Saaraya Gagana Nirmala Bhoga Jagadhega Nathaya Nigamanija Rupaya (NarayaNa…) Varijalochanaya Nitya Nandha Rupaya NarayaNatheertha Nathacharanapjaya (Narayana…) Namo Madhavaya…. Radhe Shyam Radhe Shyam Radhe Shyam Radha Madhava Radhe Shyam Murali Manohara Radhe Shyam Narakanthaka Hari Megha Shyam Sharana Rakshaka Radhe Shyam Kourava Shikshara Megha Shyam

Pandava Prana Radhe Shyam Randava Trana Megha Shyam Pandava Rakshaka Radhe Shyam Kourava Shikshaka Megha Shyam Adhinaryana Radhe Shyam Anadhi Purusha Megha Shyam Anatha Rakshaka Radhe Shyam Dhasa Keshava Sthutha Megha Shyam He Murali Shreedhara He Murali Shreedhara Radhe Krishna Radhe Shyam Keshava Madhava Yadhava Nandhana Radhe Krishna Radhe Shyam Nandha Nandhana Radhe Shyam Navanetha Chora Radhe Shyam Bhaktha Vatsala Radhe Shyam Bhagavatha Priya Radhe Shyam Radha Lola Radhe Shyam Gopi Manohara Radhe Shyam Kalinga Narthana Radhe Shyam Kamsa Mardhana Radhe Shyam Darshan Do Ghanashyam Darshan Do Ghanashyam Natha Mori Akhiyan Pyasi Re.. Darshan Do Ghanashyam Natha Mori Akhiyan Pyasi Re.. Darshan Do Ghanashyam... Mandir mandir murat teri Phir bhi na dekhi surat teri....(2) Yuga bite na aayi milan ki Puran masi re.......... Darshan Do Ghanshyam Natha Mori Akhiyan Pyasi Re.. Darshan Do Ghanshyam.. Dwar daya ka jab to khole Pancham sura main gunga bole....(2) Andha dekhe langada chalkar.....(2) Pahonche kashi re..... Darshan do Ghanashyam Natha Mori Akhiyan Pyasi Re

Darshan do Ghanashyam.... Pani pikar pyas buzaoon Nainan ko kaise samazaoon.......(2) Aankha micholi aba to chhodo Man ke vasi re.... Darshan do Ghanashyam Natha Mori Akhiyan Pyasi Re...(2) Darshan do Ghanshyam.......

Sita-Ram
Prem Mudita Prem Mudita Man Se Kaho Ram Ram Ram, Sri Ram Ram Ram Sri Ram Ram Ram, Sri Ram Ram Ram Paapa Kate Dukh Mite Lete Rama Naam (2) Bhava Samudra Sukhada Naava (2) Ek Ram Naam (Sri Ram Ram Ram...) Parama Shanti Sukha Nidhaan Divya Ram Naam (2) Niradhaar Ko Aadhaar (2) Ek Ram Naam (Sri Ram Ram Ram...) Mahadeva Sadata Japata Nitya Ram Naam (2) Paap Marata Mukta Karata (2) Kaheta Ram Naam (Sri Ram Ram Ram...) Mata Pita Bandhu Sakha Sab Hi Ram Naam (2) Bhakta Janana Jeevan Dhan (2) Ek Ram Naam (Sri Ram Ram Ram...) Raghupati Raghava Rajaram Raghupati Raghav Raja Ram,Patit pawan Sita Ram Raghupati Raghav Raja Ram,Patit pawan Sita Ram Sita Ram Sita Ram,Bhaj Pyaare Tu Sita Ram Ishwer Allah Tero Naam,Sabko Sanmati De Bhagvan Ishwer Allah Tero Naam,Sabko Sanmati De Bhagvan Raghupati Raghav Raja Ram,Patit pawan Sita Ram Raghupati Raghav Raja Ram,Patit pawan Sita Ram Raghupati Raghav Raja Ram,Patit pawan Sita Ram Paayo Ji Mai.nne Paayo Ji Mai.nne Raam Ratan Dhan Paayo...(2)

Vastu Amolik Dii Mere Sataguru (2) Kirapaa kari apanaayo (Paayo Ji Mai.nne…) Janam Janam Kii Puu.Njii PaaI (2) Jag Me.n Sabhii Khovaayo (Paayo Ji Mai.nne…) Kharacha Na Koi Chor Na LuuTai (2) Din Din Ba.Dhat Savaayo (Paayo Ji Mai.nne…) Sat Kii Naav KhevaTiyaa Sataguru (2) Bhavasaagar Taravaayo (Paayo Ji Mai.nne…) Miiraa Ke Prabhu Giridhar Naagar (2) Harashh Harashh Jas Gaayo (Paayo Ji Mai.nne…) Shri Ramachandra shrIrAmachandr kR^ipAlu bhaju man haraN bhavabhay dAruNam.h . navakaJNj lochan kaJNj mukhakar kaJNjapad kaJNjaaruNam.h ... Sri Ram, Jai Ram… ka.ndarp agaNit amit chhabi nav nIl nIraj sundaram.h . paTapIt mAnahu.N ta.Dit ruchi suchi naumi janak sutAvaram.h (Sri…) bhaju dIn bandhu dinesh dAnav daityava.nshanikandanam.h . raghunand Ana.ndaka.nd koshal chand dasharath nandanam.h . (Sri…). sir mukuT kuNDal tilak chAru udAr aN^g vibhUshhaNam.h . AjAnubhuj sar chApadhar sa.ngrAm jit kharadUshhaNam.h .. (Sri…) iti vadati tulasiidaas shaN^kar sheshh muni manaraJNjanam.h . mam hR^idayakaJNj nivAs kuru kAmAdikhaladalamaJNjanam.h .. Sri Ram, Jai Ram… Jai Raghunandan Jai Siyaram Jai Raghunandan Jai Siyaram Hey Dukh Banjhan Tumhe Pranaam Jai Raghunandan Jai Siyaram Bhrat Bhrat Ko, Hey Parmeshwer Sneh Tumhe Sikhlate Nar Nari Ke Prem Ke Jyoti, Jug Mein Tumhe Jalate O Naiya Ke Khaven Hare, O Naiya Ke Khaven Hare Japu main tumhro naam…(Jai Raghunandan…) Tum Hi Daya Ke Sagar Prabhu Ji, Tum Hi Palan Hare Chaine Tum Hi Se Aaye Milkar, Manva Saanj Sakaye Jo Bhi Tumri aas Lagaye, Jo Bhi Tumri aas Lagaye

Bane Usi Ke Kaam…(Jai Raghunandan…) Aatma nivasee Raam Aatma nivasee Raam (2) Dasharatha nandan Raam Jai Jai jaanaki jeevan Raam Ayodhya vasi Raam (2) Dasharatha nandan Raam Jai Jai jaanaki jeevan Raam Aranaya vasee Raam (2) Dasharatha nandan Raam Jai Jai jaanaki jeevan Raam Ahailyaa uddhar Raam (2) Dasharatha nandan Raam Jai Jai jaanaki jeevan Raam Dash-mukh mardan Raam (2) Dasharatha nandan Raam Jai Jai jaanaki jeevan Raam Bhakta-vatsal Raam (2) Dasharatha nandan Raam Jai Jai jaanaki jeevan Raam Sita Ram Kahiye Sita Ram, Sita Ram, Sita Ram kahiye Jahi vidhi rakhiye Ram, Tahi vidhi rakhiye Mukh me ho Ram nam, Ram seva hath me Tu nahi akela pyare, Ram tere sath me...(2) Vidhi ka Vidhan, man hani labh sahiye Jahi vidhi rakhye Ram, Tahi vidhi rahiye...Sita Ram Kiya abhiman to phir, man nahe payega Hoga pyare wahi jo shri Ram ji ko Bhayega...(2) Phal asha tyage kar ke, kam karte rahiye Jahi vidhi rakhye Ram, Tahi vidhi rahiye....Sita Ram Jindigi ke dor saunpo, hath dina nath ke Mahalow me rakhe, chahe jhopdi me vas de..(2) Dhaniyabad, nirbad, Ram nam kahiye Jahi vidhi rakhye Ram Tahi vidhi rahiye.....Sita Ram

Asha ek Ram ji se, Duji asha chhode de Nata ek Ram ji se, Duja nata chhode de.....(2) Sadhu sang, Ram rang, aang aang rangiye Kam ras tyag pyare, Ram ras pejiye......Sita Ram Raghunandan Raghav Ram Hare Raghunandan Raghav Ram Hare (x2) He Janaki Jiwan Ram Hare (x2) He Rajivlochana Ram Hare (x2) Raghunandan Raghav Ram Hare (x2) Sitaram Hare Sai Ram Hare (x4) He Rajivlochana Ram Hare Jai Jai Tulsi Jai Jai Tulsi Jai Jai Ram Jai Jai Laxman Jai Hanuman (2x) Kahan Rahe Tulsi Kahan Rahe Ram Kahan Rahe Laxman Kahan Hanuman Ghar Rahe Tulsi Ayodhya Rahe Ram Sung Rahe Laxman Pug Hanuman (Jai Jai Tulsi…) Kya Rang Tulsi Kya Rang Ram Kya Rang Laxman Kya Hanuman Hera Rang Tulsi Shyam Rang Ram Gora Rang Laxman Laal Hanuman (Jai Jai Tulsi…) Kya Piye Tulsi Kya Khaye Ram Kya Piye Laxman Kya Hanuman

Jal Piye Tulsi Meva Khaye Ram Dudh Piye Laxman Laddu Hanuman (Jai Jai Tulsi…) Seeta Pathe Jaya Janaki Rama Ramachandra Prabho Raghuvamsa Rama Seetha Pathe Jaya Janaki Rama Kousalya Rama Suganabhi Rama Ravana Samhaara Kodhanda Rama Ayodhya Rama Patabhirama Nava nava KomaLa Kalyana Rama Seetha Pathe Jaya Janaki Rama Tum Bin Kaun Humaro (Thatha Gath) Tum Bin Kaun Humaro Tum Karuna ki Sagar Dhaatha Janath He Jaga Saroru Saro Hum sevak he tum ho swami Hum Dhukiya Tum Antharayami Hamri Aur Niharo (riharo) (Tum Bin) Moh Maya Bas Hum Nar Naari Beech Bhavara Naav Hamari Thumhi Aakar Utharo (rutharo) (Tum Bin) Yeh Jeevani Yeh Des Biraana Abh Jaakara hum Neye Jaana Yeh Saagara jala haro (ruharo) (Tum Bin) Sri Rama Sri Rama Rama Rama Raghu Nandhana Rama Ram Shri Rama Rama Rama Sharanambhava Rama Ram Shri Rama Rama Rama RaNadheera Rama Ram Shri Rama Rama Rama Bharathaagraja Rama Ram

Rama-Krishna

Jai Raadhaa Maadhav, Jai Kunj Bihaaree Jai Raadhaa Maadhav, Jai Kunj Bihaaree Jai Gopee Jana Vallabh, Jai Girivar Dhaaree Jai Raadhaa Maadhav, Jai Kunj Bihaaree Yashoda Nandana Braj Jan Ranjan Yashoda Nandana Braj Jan Ranjan Yamunaa Teera Banvaaree Jai Raadhaa Madhav, Jai Kunj Bihaaree Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Raamaa Hare Raamaa, Raamaa Raamaa Hare Hare Rama Rama Seetharama Rama Rama Seetharama, Ramachandra Pahimam Rama Krishna Govindha, Hare Pahimam Krishna Krishna Gopala, Vasudheva Pahimam Rama Krishna Govindha, Hare Pahimam Hara Hara Gangadhara, Neelakanta Pahimam Rama Krishna Govindha, Hare Pahimam Rama Nama Tharakam Rama Nama Tharakam Sadha Bhajore Sadha Bhajore, Sadha Japore Rama Rama Rama Jaya, Kodhanda Rama Rama Rama Rama Jaya, Kalyana Rama Rama Rama Rama Jaya, Prattabhi Rama Rama Rama Rama Jaya, Koushalya Rama Krishana Nama Keerthanam Sadha bhajore Sadha Bhajore, Sadha Japore Krishna Krishna Krishna Krishna Gopi Vallabha Krishna Krishna Krishna Krishna Arjuna Sakha

Krishna Krishna Krishna Krishna Pandava Priya Krishna Krishna Krishna Krishna Kamsa Mardhana Bolo Raam Bolo Shyam Jug Mein Sundar Hain Do Naam, Chaahe Krishna KahoYa Raam Bolo Raam Raam Raam, Bolo Shyam Shyam Shyam Ek Hriday Mein Prem Bhar Aave, Ek Taap Santaap Mithaave Dono Hain Sukh Ke Saagar Aur, Pooran Karte Kaam, Chaahe Krishna KahoYa Raam Bolo Raam Raam Raam, Bolo Shyam Shyam Shyam Ek Kans Paapi Ko Maare, Ek Raavan Samhare Dono Deenon Ko Dukh Harta Hai, Dono Bal Ke Daam, Chaahe Krishna Kaho Ya Raam Bolo Raam Raam Raam, Bolo Shyam Shyam Shyam Seetaraam Kaho Raadheshyaam Kaho Seetaraam Kaho Raadheshyaam Kaho Seetaraam Kaho Raadheshyaam Kaho Seetaaraam Binaa Koyee Pyaaraa Naheen Raadheshyaam Binaa Koyee Apanaa Naheen Seetaaraam Binaa Sukh Kaun Kare Raadheshyaam Binaa Dukh Haun Hare Seetaaraam Binaa Bedaa Paar Naheen Raadheshyaam Binaa Uddhaar Naheen Sab Se Oonchee Prem Sagaee Sab Se Oonchee Prem Sagaee Duryodhan Kee Mevaa Tyaagee, Saag Vidur Ghar Paayee Joothe Phal Sabree Ke Khaaye, Bahu Vidhi Prem Badhaaee Prem Ke Bus Nrip Sevaa Keenhee, Aap Bane Hari Naaee Raajsooya Yagna Yudhishthir Keeno, Taame Jooth Uthaaee Prem Ke Bas Arjun Rath Haankyo Bhool Gaye Thakuraee Aisee Preeti Badhee, Vrindaaban Gopin Naach Nachaaee Soor Baani Ehi Laayak Naaheen, Kahan Lagi Karaun Badaayee

Shiva
Shiva Stuti Brahma Murari Surarchita Lingam Nirmala Bhashita Shobhita Lingam Janmaja Dhukha Vinashaka Lingam Tatpranamami Sadashiva Lingam.....(2) Devamunipravararchita Lingam Kamadaham Karunakara Lingam Ravandarpa Vinashaka Lingam Tatpranamami Sadashiva Lingam.....(2) Sarvasugandhi Sulepita Lingam Buddhivivardhana Karana Lingam Siddhasurasura Vandita Lingam Tatpranamami Sadashiva Lingam.....(2) Kanakamahamani Bhaushita Lingam Panipativeshtita Shobhita Lingam Dakshasuyagna Vinashana Lingam Tatpranamami Sadashiva Lingam.....(2) Kumkumachandana Lepita Lingam Pankajahara Sushobhita Lingam Sanchitapapavinashana Lingam Tatpranamami Sadashiva Lingam.....(2) Devaganarchita Sevita Lingam Bhavairbhaktibhirevacha Lingam Dinakar koti prabhakara Lingam Tatpranamami Sadashiva Lingam.....(2) Ashtadalopariveshtita Lingam Sarva Samudbhava karana Lingam Ashtadaridra vinashita Lingam Tatpranamami Sadashiva Lingam.....(2) Suraguru Suravara pujita Lingam Suravana Pushpa Sadarchita Lingam Paratparam paramatmaka Lingam Tatpranamami Sadashiva Lingam......(2)

Bolo Bolo Submil Bolo… Bolo Bolo Submil Bolo Om Namah Shivaaya (2) Om Namah Shivaaya Om Namah Shivaaya (Bolo Bolo…) Jhootajataamey Gangaa Dhaari Trishoola Dhari Damaru Bhajavey Dama Dama Dama Dama Damaru Baja (2) Goonj Uthavo Nama Shivaya Om Nama Shivaaya (4x) Bhola Bhola Shankara Bhol Bhola Bhola Shankara Bhol (2) Nandhi Vahana Naga Bhushana (2) Chandrasekhara Jatadhara Gangadhara Gowri Manohara (2) Girija RamaNa Sadha Siva (2) Mahadheva Sadhasiva Bhola Bhola Hara Hara Bhol Bhola Bhola Shiva Shiva Bhol Hara Hara Bhol Shiva Shiva Bhol (2) Shiva Shiva Hara Hara Shiva Shiva Bhol Hara Hara Shiva Shiva Hara Hara Bhol Hara Hara Bhol Shiva Shiva Bhol (2) Shiva Shiva Shiva Shiva Shiva Shiva Namasumara Nara Sakala Manohari Purana Cari Shiva Shiva Shiva Shiva Naamasumara Nara Nandi Ganajapa Sumarana Keeno Kaala Paasha Thath Kaala Nivare Ravana Nama Liyo Drid Manse Sakala Dev Agnya Kshira Daré Upamanyu Muni Kare Tapasya Doodh Samudra Giyo Bambari Brimanand Yahi Var Maange Bhakthi Daan Deejo Thripurare Fast Shiv Shiv Shankar Hara Hara Shankar Tripura Madan Kailasapathe Shiv Shiv Shankar, Hara Hara Shankar Tripura Madana Kailasapathe, Kailasapathe, Kailasapathe!

Bajore Manwa Bajore Manwa Sath Guru Deva Parama Kripalo Sai Mahadheva Nisdin Dhyan Karoon Mein Tera Janam Janam ka Mitte Andhera Parabrahma Parameshwara Deva Parabrahma Parameshwara Roopa Parama Kripalo Sai Mahadheva (Bajore) Shankara Bhola Bhola Hara Bhola Hara Hara Bhola, Shankara Bhola Saileshwara Hara Vishwambharadhara Shakthisahitha Siva Natana Manohara (*3) (Bhola) Nandhi Vahana Naaga Bhooshana Shakthisahitha Siva Natana Manohara (*3) (Bhola) Surya Chandra PraLaya thriNethra Dhara Shakthisahitha Siva Natana Manohara (*3) (Bhola) Shankara Chandhrasekhara Shankara Chandhrasekhara Gangadhara Sumanohara Pahimam Parameshwara Mruthyunjaya Vishweshwara NeelakanTa Phalanethra Bhasma Bhushitha Sundara Pahimam Karunakara Girijesha Omkareshwara (2) (Shankara) Thandava Priya Jaya Natesha Viswanatha Maheshwara Pahimam Abhayankara Vyagra Charmambaradhara (2) (Shankara)

Durga
Ambaparameshwari Ambaparameshwari Akhilaandeshwari Aadiparaashakti Paalayamaam Shreebhuvaneshwari Raajaraajeshwari Aanandaroopini Paalaayamam Veenaapaani Vimalaswaroopini Vedaanta Roopini Paalaayamaaam Kaamitadaayani Karunaswaroopini Kanyaakumari Paalayamaam….Amba Manjula-bhaashini Mangala-daayani Madurameenaakshi Paalayamaam Raajaswaroopini Raajaraajeshwari Srichakravaasini Paalayamaam…Amba Ambajagadeeshwari Annabhuvaneshwari Kaaliparaashakti Paalayamaam Chaamundeshwari Shreelaliteshwari Kaarunyaroopini Paalayamaam…..Amba Kaachi Kaamaakshivi Madhura Meenaakshi Laavanyaroopini Paalayamaam Kaartyayaambari Sunderaroopini Bindhukalaadhari Paalayamaam…Amba Madurasubhaashini Manimayadhaarini Mangaladaayani Paalayamaam Shreekaatyani Jayajayagauri Devi Kripaakari Paalayamaam…Amba Jaya Ma Jaya Ma, Jaya Ma, Jaya Ma (x2) Jaya Durga, Jaya Durgati Nasini Ma (x2) Abhaiya daini, Mangalakarini Ma (x2) Jagatho udharini Ma, Sai Naraini Ma (x2) Jaya Ma, Jaya Ma (x2) Gyanpradaini, Muktipradaini, Ananadaini Ma (x2) Jaya Ma, Jaya Ma, Jaya Ma Jaya Ma, Jaya Ma Jaya Ma, Jaya Ma Jaya Ma, Jaya Ma Ambaji Ni Dhun Naman naman narayani Amba Naman naman narayani Amba...(2)

Pratham pranamu parameshwari Amba..(2) Sukha de Sukhada, Vara de Varda....(2) Ma Jayo jayo ma Jagadambe Tuhi ma tuhi ma tuhi ma Amba Naman naman narayani Amba...(2) Alakha niranjai jaya ananda..(2) Sukh de Sukhada, Vara de varda..(2) Ma jayo jayo ma Jagadambe Tuhi ma tuhi ma tuhi ma Amba Naman naman narayani Amba....(2) Brahma Swarupini jaya jaya bala..(2) Sukhade Sukhada Varade Varada..(2) Ma jayo jayo ma Jagdambe Tuhi ma tuhi ma tuhi ma Amba Naman naman narayani Amba Devi Kirtan Jagatoddharini Maataa Durga, Jagatoddharini Maa.N Jagatoddharini Maataa Durga, Jagatoddharini Maa.N Jaya Jananii, Jaya Jananii, Jaya Jananii, Jaya MaaN Jaya Jananii, Jaya Jananii, Jaya Jananii, Jaya MaaN Jaya Gaurii devii, raNa chaNDii devi Shiva Ramanaa Jaago MaaN (Jagatoddharini…) O Mother Durga, the redeemer of the universe Victory to the mother of the universe Victory to Gauri (Parvati) and the warrior Chandi Jagadhambike Jagadhambike Jaya Jagadheeswari Thaye Parashakthi Parameshwari Maye Mahashakthi Maheshwari Neeye Vinai Theerkum Vishweshwari Unnaye Sharan Adaindhen Karunakari (2) AruLvai Nee Anandha Lahari Gowri Jagajanani Jagajanani Jagajanani Jagajanani Jagajanani Chathurvedha Vilasini Sapa Vimochani Matha Bhavani Sambavi Shankari Moksha Pradhayini Jaya Jaya Jaya Jaya Vandhini Maam Jaya Paramesha Krupasini Maam Adhi Sakthi Parabrahma Swarupini (Jagajanani…)

Janani Janani Janani Satya Sai Shubha Janani Jagathkarani Pari Poorani Saieeshwari Janani Shakthi Swaroopini Janani Dharmasamvardhini Janani Shantha Swaroopini Janani (Sai) Prema Pradhayini Janani Janani (Janani)

General
Man lago mero yaar pakeeree me Man lago mero yaar pakeeree me Jo sukh paayo raam bhajan me, so sukh naahi ameerime bhala bura sabkee sun leeje, kar gujaaran gareebeeme Prem nagar me rehani hamaari, bhali bani aaie saburi me hath me kundi bagal me sota, charon dishaa jageeri me aakhir yaha than khak milegaa, kahaa phiroth magruri me kehath kabeer suno bhaie saadho, sahib mile saburi me Vaishnav Jan To VaishNav jan to tenere kahiye je pii.D paraayii jaaNe re par-dukhkhe upakaar kare toye man abhijmaan naa aaNe re (vaishNav jan to…) akaL lok maan sahune va.nde nii.ndaa na kare kenii re vaach kaach man nishchaL raakhe chan-chan jananii tenii re (vaishNav jan to…) am-drisTii ne tR^ishhNaa tyaagii par-strii jene maat re jihvaa thakii asatya naa bole par-dhan nav jhaale haath re (vaishNav jan to…) moh-maayaa vyaape nahii jene dri.Dh vairaagya jenaa man maan re raam naam sun taaLii laagii sakaL tirath tenaa tan maan re (vaishNav jan to…) vaN-lobhii ne kapaT-rahit chhe kaam-krodh nivaaryaa re bhaNe narasaiyyo tenun darshan kartaa

kuL ekotere taarayaa re (vaishNav jan to…) Thumee Ho Matha Thumee Ho Matha, Pita Thumee Ho Thumee Ho Bondhu Sakha Thumee Ho Thumee Ho Sathee Thumee Saharee Koiyee na apana siva thumareh Thumee ho naiya, Thumee khivaiya Thumee Ho Bondhu, Sakha Thumee Ho (Thumee Ho Matha…) Jo khil sakaynah, vo phool humhay Thumharey charanoh kee dhul humhay Dhiyah ki dhristii, sadha kee rakhana Thumee Ho Bondhu, Sakha Thumee Ho (Thumee Ho Matha…) Jaya Ram Shankar ji ka damaru bole, Shri Ram jaya Ram jaya jaya Ram, Shri Ram jaya Ram jaya jaya Ram, Shri Ram jaya Ram jaya jaya Ram Meera ji ka jhanaka bole Jaya Geerivara Radhe Bhagawan Jaya Geerivara Radhe Bhagawan Shri Ram jaya Rama jaya jaya Ram Narad ji ki veena bole Jaya Raghunandan jaya Siya Ram Jaya Raghunandan jaya Siya Ram Shri Ram jaya Ram jaya jaya Ram Tukaram ki vani bole Vitthala Vitthala hi Hari Ram Vitthala Vitthala hi hari Ram Shri Ram jaya Ram jaya jaya Ram Tulasi ki ramayana bole Raghupati Raghava raja Ram Raghupati Raghava raja Ram Shri Ram jaya Ram jaya jaya Ram Guru Grantha ki vani bole Sahib Sahib hi satenam Sahib Sahib hi satenam Shri Ram jaya Ram jaya jaya Rama

Biit Gaye Din Biit gaye din bhajan binaa re (2) bhajan binaa re, bhajan binaa re (2) (biit gaye din...) Baal avasthaa khel gavaa.Nyo (2) jab yauvan tab maan ghanaa re (2) (biit gaye din...) Laahe kaaraN muul gavaa.Nyo (2) ajahu.N na gayii man kii tR^ishhNaa re (2) (biit gaye din...) Kahat kabiir suno bhaI saadho (2) paar utar gaye sa.nt janaa re (2) (biit gaye din...) Om Hai Jeevan Hamara Om hai jeevan hamara, Om pranadhar hai Om hai karta vidhata, Om palanhar hai Om hai dukh ka vinashak, Om sarvanand hai Om hai bal tej dhari, Om Karunakand hai Om sab ka pujya hai, hum om ka pujan karen Om hi ke dhyan se, hum shudh apna man karein Om ke guru mantra japne se, rahega shudh man Buddhi din prati din baregi, dharam main hoogi lagan Om ke jap se hamara, gyan barheta jayega Anth main yeh om humko, mukti tak pahunchayega Bhagawan ka Mandir Tere poojan ko bhagawan, bana man mandir aalishan Toone raja rank banaye, Toone bhikshuk taj bithaye Teri lila ayesi mahan, bana man mandir aalishan Tohe jalmain, tohe thal main, to har daal ki har patel To har dil main murtiman, bana man mandir aalishan Jaani kisne teri maya, kisne bhed tiharo paya hare rishi mooni kar dhyan, bana man mandir aalishan Jhoothe jag ki jhooti maya, murakha kyon ismain bharmaya Kar kuch jeewan ka kalyan, bana man mandir aalishan Tere poojan ko bhagawan, bana man mandir aalishan

Hamare Ghara Kirtan Me Aana Hamare ghar kirtan me aana ho Bhagawan Aap bhi aana sanga Gopio ko laana, aa kar ras rachana, Hamare ghar kirtan me aana ho Bhagawan (2) Aap bhi aana sanga, Gauva ko bhi laana, Aa kar dhun machana, Hamare ghar kirtan me aana ho Bhagawan (2) Aap bhi aana sanga, santo ko bhi laana Aa kar dhun machana, Hamare ghar kirtan me aana ho Bhagawan (2) Guru Jai Jai Guru maharaj Guru Jai Jai Parabrahmasath Guru Jai Jai Guru maharaj Guru Jai Jai Vedhavyasasath Guru Jai Jai Guru maharaj Guru Jai Jai Aadhi Shankarasath Guru Jai Jai Guru maharaj Guru Jai Jai Raghavendrasath Guru Jai Jai Guru maharaj Guru Jai Jai Chimayanandasath Guru Jai Jai Guru maharaj Guru Jai Jai Parabrahmasath Guru Jai Jai

Hanuman

Hanuman Chalisa Shri Guru Charan Saroj Raj Nij mane mukure sudhar Varnao Raghuvar Vimal Jasu Jo dayaku phal char Budhi Hin Tanu Janike Sumirau Pavan Kumar Bal budhi Vidya dehu mohe Harahu Kalesa Vikar Jai Hanuman gyan gun sagar Jai Kapis tihun lok ujagar Ram doot atulit bal dhama Anjani-putra Pavan sut nama Mahavir Vikram Bajrangi Kumati nivar sumati Ke sangi Kanchan varan viraj subesa Kanan Kundal Kunchit Kesa Hath Vajra Aur Dhuvaje Viraje Kandhe moonj janehu sajai Sankar suvan kesri Nandan Tej pratap maha jag vandan Vidyavan guni ati chatur

Ram kaj karibe ko aatur Prabu charitra sunibe ko rasiya Ram Lakhan Sita man Basiya Sukshma roop dhari Siyahi dikhava Vikat roop dhari lanka jarava Bhima roop dhari asur sanghare Ramachandra ke kaj sanvare Laye Sanjivan Lakhan Jiyaye Shri Raghuvir Harashi ur laye Raghupati Kinhi bahut badai Tum mam priye Bharat-hi sam bhai Sahas badan tumharo yash gaave Us kahi Shripati kanth lagaave Sankadik Brahmadi Muneesa Narad Sarad sahit Aheesa Yam Kuber Digpal Jahan te Kavi kovid kahi sake kahan te Tum upkar Sugreevahin keenha Ram milaye rajpad deenha Tumharo mantra Vibheeshan mana Lankeshwar Bhaye Sub jag jana Yug sahastra jojan par Bhanu Leelyo tahi madhur phal janu Prabhu mudrika meli mukh mahee Jaladhi langhi gaye achraj nahee Durgaam kaj jagat ke jete

Sugam anugraha tumhre tete Ram dware tum rakhvare, Hoat na agya binu paisare Sub sukh lahai tumhari sarna Tum rakshak kahu ko dar na Aapan tej samharo aapai Teenhon lok hank te kanpai Bhoot pisach Nikat nahin aavai Mahavir jab naam sunavai Nase rog harai sab peera Japat nirantar Hanumant beera Sankat se Hanuman chudavai Man Karam Vachan dyan jo lavai Sub par Ram tapasvee raja Tin ke kaj sakal Tum saja Aur manorath jo koi lavai Sohi amit jeevan phal pavai Charon Yug partap tumhara Hai persidh jagat ujiyara Sadhu Sant ke tum Rakhware Asur nikandan Ram dulhare Ashta sidhi nav nidhi ke dhata Us var deen Janki mata Ram rasayan tumhare pasa Sada raho Raghupati ke dasa

Tumhare bhajan Ram ko pavai Janam janam ke dukh bisravai Anth kaal Raghuvir pur jayee Jahan janam Hari-Bakht Kahayee Aur Devta Chit na dharehi Hanumanth se hi sarve sukh karehi Sankat kate mite sab peera Jo sumirai Hanumat Balbeera Jai Jai Jai Hanuman Gosahin Kripa Karahu Gurudev ki nyahin Jo sat bar path kare kohi Chutehi bandhi maha sukh hohi Jo yah padhe Hanuman Chalisa Hoye siddhi sakhi Gaureesa Tulsidas sada hari chera Keejai Das Hrdaye mein dera Pavantnai sankat haran, Mangal murti roop. Ram Lakhan Sita sahit, Hrdaye basahu sur bhoop.

Sundara Roopa Sundara Roopa Sajjana Vanditha Anjaneya Namosthuthe Anjani Putra Parama Pavithra Anjaneya Namosthuthe Mangala Roopa Moksha Pradhatha Anjaneya Namosthuthe Kesari Nandana KaliMaLa Bhandana Anjaneya Namosthuthe Sarva Dhara Sadhu Jananam anjaneya Namosthuthe Raghava Dhootha Sugreeva Mitra Anjaneya Namosthuthe Sundara Roopa………

Hey Anjaneya! Hey Anjaneya! Hey Rama Dhootha! Sri Rama Bhaktha Namo Namo

Sita Matha Shoka Vinasa Athi Bhalavantha Namo Namo Namo Maruthiraaya Mahanu Bhava Athi Bhalavantha Namo Namo Kamitha Phalada Kamaneeya gathra Anjani Putra Namo Namo Namo Hey Anjaneya…

Aarti
Om Jai Jagdish Om Jai Jagdish hare, Swãmi Jai Jagdish hare Bhakt jano ke sankat, Dãs jano ke sankat Kshañ men door kare, Om Jai Jagdish hare Jo dhyãve phal pãve, Dukh bin se man kã Swami dukh bin se man kã, Sukh sampati ghar ãve Sukh sampati ghar ãve, Kasht mite tan kã (Om Jai Jagdish…) Mãt pitã tum mere, Sharañ paðoon main kiski Swãmi sharañ paðoon main kiski, Tum bin aur na doojã Prabhu bin aur na doojã, Ãs karoon main jiski (Om Jai Jagdish…) Tum poorañ Paramãtam, Tum Antaryãmi Swãmi tum Antaryãmi, Pãr Brahm Parameshwar Pãr Brahm Parameshwar, Tum sabke swãmi(Om Jai Jagdish…) Tum karuñã ke sãgar, Tum pãlan kartã Swãmi tum pãlan kartã, Main moorakh khalakhãmi Main sevak tum swãmi, Kripã karo Bhartã (Om Jai Jagdish…) Tum ho ek agochar, Sab ke prãñ pati Swãmi sab ke prãñ pati, Kis vidhi miloon Gosãi Kis vidhi miloon Dayãlu, Tum ko main kumati (Om Jai Jagdish…) Deen bandhu dukh harta, Thãkur tum mere Swãmi Thãkur tum mere, Apne hãth uthao Apni sharañi lagão, Dwãr paðã hoon tere (Om Jai Jagdish…) Vishay vikãr mitãvo, Pãp haro Devã Swãmi pãp haro Devã, Shradhã bhakti baðhão Shradhã bhakti baðhão, Santan ki sevã (Om Jai Jagdish…) Tanamana dhana sab hai tera Swami saba kuch he tera, Tera tujhko arpana Tera tujhko arpana, Kyaa laage mera (Om Jai Jagdish…) Jai Santoshii Maataa Jai Santoshii Maataa, Maiyaa Jai Santoshii Maataa Apane Sevaka Jana Kii, Apane Sevaka Jana Kii,

Sukha Sampati Daataa, Jai Santoshii Maataa SuNdara ChIra SunAharii, Maan Dhaarana Kinhon Maiyaa Maan Dhaarana Kinhon, Hiiraa Pannaa Damake, Hiiraa Pannaa Damake, Tana Shringaara Liyo, Jai Santoshii Maataa Geruu Laala Chataa Chavi, Abadana Kamala Sohe, Maiyaa Abadana Kamala Sohe, MaNda HaNsata Karunaamayii, MaNda HaNsata Karunaamayii, Tribhuvana Mana Mohe, Jai Santoshii Maataa SvaRna Sinhaasana Baithi, Chanvara Dhare Pyaare Maiyaa Chanvara Dhare Pyaare, Dhuupaa Diipaa Mevaa Dhuupaa Diipaa Mevaa, Bhoga Dhare Nyaare, Jai Santoshii Maataa Guda Aura Chanaa Parama Priya, Taamein SantOsha Kiyo Maiyaa Taamein SantOsha Kiyo, SaNtOshii KahalAii, SaNtOshii KahalAii, Bhaktana Vibhava Diyo, Jai Santoshii Maataa ShuKravAra Priya Maanata, Aaja Divasa Sohii, Maiyaa Aaja Divasa Sohii, Bhakta Mandalii Chaaii, Bhakta Mandalii Chaaii, Kathaa Sunata Mohii, Jai Santoshii Maataa Mandira Jagamaga Jyoti, Mangala Dhvani Chaaii Vinaya Karein Tere Baalaka Charanana Sira Naaii Bhakti Bhaavamayii Puujaa, Angikruta Kiijai, Maiyaa Angikruta Kiijai, Bahu Dhana Dhaanya Bhare Ghara Bahu Dhana Dhaanya Bhare Ghara , Sukha Saubhaagya Diye, Jai Santoshii Maataa Hyaanaa Dhaaro Tero, Manvaanchita Phala Paayo, Maiyaa Manvaanchita Phala Paayo, Puujaa Kathaa Shravana Kara Puujaa Kathaa Shravana Kara, Ghara Aananda Aayo, Jai Santoshii Maataa Sharana Gahe Kiilaaja, Rakhiyo Jagadambe Maiyaa Rakhiyo Jagadambe, Sankata Tuu Hii Nivaare Sankata Tuu Hii Nivaare, Dayaamayii Ambe, Jai Santoshii Maataa Santoshii Maan Kii Aaratii, Jo Oii Jana Gaavai, Maiyaa Jo Oii Jana Gaavai, Riddhi Siddhi Sukha SaMpati Riddhi Siddhi Sukha SaMpati, Ji Bhara Ke Paavai, Jai Santoshii Maataa Jai Santoshii Maataa, Maiyaa Jai Santoshii Maataa Apane Sevaka Jana Kii, Apane Sevaka Jana Kii, Sukha Sampati Daataa, Jai Santoshii Maataa

Jai Sarasvatii Maataa Jai Sarasvatii Maataa, Maiyaa Jai Sarasvatii Maataa Sadguna Vaibhava Shaalinii, Sadguna Vaibhava Shaalinii

Tribhuvana Vikhyaataa, Jai Sarasvatii Maataa Chandravadanii Padmaasinii, Dyuti Mangalakare Maiyaa Dyuti Mangalakare, Sohe Shubha Hansa Savare Sohe Shubha Hansa Savare, Atula Tejadhare, Jai Sarasvatii Maataa Baaye Kara Mein Viinaa, Daayen Kara Maalaa Maiyaa Daayen Kara Maalaa, Shiisha Mukuta Mani Sohe Shiisha Mukuta Mani Sohe, Gala Motiyana Maalaa, Jai Sarasvatii Maataa Devii Sharana Jo Aae, Unakaa Uddhaaram Kiyaa Maiyaa Unakaa Uddhaaram Kiyaa, Paithi Mantharaa Daasii Paithi Mantharaa Daasii, Raavana Sanhaara Kiyaa, Jai Sarasvatii Maataa Vidyaa Gyaana Pradaayinii, Jaga Mein Gyaana Prakaasha Bharo Jaga Mein Gyaana Prakaasha Bharo, Moha Aura Ajnaana Timira Kaa, Moha Aura Ajnaana Timira Kaa, Jaga Se Naasha Karo, Jai Sarasvatii Maataa Dhuupa Diipa Phala Mevaa, Maan Svikaara Karo Maiyaa Maan Svikaara Karo, Gyaana Chakshu De Maataa Gyaana Chakshu De Maataa, Jaga Nistaara Karo, Jai Sarasvatii Maataa Maan Sarasvatii Kii Aratii, Jo Koii Jana Gaavai Maiyaa Jo Koii Jana Gaavai, Hitakaarii Sukhakaarii Hitakaarii Sukhakaarii, Gyaana Hakti Paavai, Jai Sarasvatii Maataa Jai Sarasvatii Maataa, Maiyaa Jai Sarasvatii Maataa Sadguna Vaibhava Shaalinii, Sadguna Vaibhava Shaalinii Tribhuvana Vikhyaataa, Jai Sarasvatii Maataa Om Jai Shiva Omkaaraa Om Jai Shiva Omkaaraa, Prabhu Jai Shiva Omkaaraa Brahmaa Vishnu Sadaashivaa, Brahmaa Vishnu Sadaashivaa, Arddhaangii Dhaaraa, Om Hara Hara Mahaadevaa... Ekaanana Chaturaanana, Panchanana Raaje Prabhu Panchanana Raaje, Hansaanana Garuraasana Hansaanana Garuraasana, Vrishvaahana Saaje, Om Hara Hara Mahaadeva... Do Bhuja Chaaru Chaturbhuja, Dashabhuja Ati Sohe Prabhu Dashabhuja Ati Sohe, Tiinon Ruupa Nirakhate Tiinon Ruupa Nirakhate, Tribhuvana Jana Mohe, Om Hara Hara Mahaadeva... Aksamaala Vanamaala, Mundamaala Dhaarii

Prabhu Mundamaala Dhaarii, Chandana Mrigamada Sohai Chandana Mrigamada Sohai, Bhaale Shashidhaarii, Om Hara Hara Mahaadeva... Shvetaambara Piitaambara, Baaghambara Ange Prabhu Baaghambara Ange, Brahmaadika Sanakaadika Brahmaadika Sanakaadika, Pretaadika Sange, Om Hara Hara Mahaadeva... Kara Madhye Kamandalu, Au Trishuula Dhaarii Au Trishuula Dhaarii, Sukhakaarii Dukhahaarii Sukhakaarii Dukhahaarii, Jagapaalanakaarii, Om Hara Hara Mahaadeva... Brahmaa Vishnu Sadaashiva, Jaanata Avivekaa Prabhu Jaanata Avivekaa, Pranavaaksara Mein Shobhita, Pranavaaksara Mein Shobhita, Ye Tinonh Ekaa, Om Hara Hara Mahaadeva... TriGunA Svaami Kii, Jo Koii Nara Gave Prabhu Jo Koii Nara Gave, Kahata Shivaananda Svaamii Kahata Shivaananda Svaamii, Man Vaamchita Phala Paave, Om Hara Hara Mahaadeva... Om Jai Shiva Omkaaraa, Prabhu Jai Shiva Omkaaraa Brahmaa Vishnu Sadaashivaa, Brahmaa Vishnu Sadaashivaa, Arddhaangii Dhaaraa, Om Hara Hara Mahaadevaa... Jai Lakshmi Maataa Jai Lakshmi Maataa, Maiyaa Jaya Lakshmi Maataa Tumako Nishadina Dhyaavata, Tumako Nishadina Dhyaavata Hara Vishnu Vidhaataa, Jai Lakshmi Maataa BrahMaanii RuDraanii Kamalaa, Tuuhii Hai Jaga Maataa Maiyaa Tuuhii Hai Jaga Maataa, Suurya Chandramaa Dhyaavata Suurya Chandramaa Dhyaavata, Naarada Rishi Gaataa, Jai Lakshmi Maataa Durgaa Ruupa Nirantara, Sukha Sampati Daataa Maiyaa Sukha Sampati Daataa, Jo Koi Tumako Dhyaavata, Jo Koi Tumako Dhyaavata, Riddhi Siddhi Dhana Paataa, Jai Lakshmi Maataa Tuuhii Hai Paataala Basantii, Tuuhii Shubha Daataa Maiyaa Tuuhii Shubha Daataa, Karma Prabhaava Prakaashaka, Karma Prabhaava Prakaashaka, Jaganidhi Ke Traataa, Jai Lakshmi Maataa Jisa Ghara Mein Tuma Rahatii, Saba Sadaguna Aataa Maiyaa Saba Sadaguna Aataa, Kara Sake Koii Kara Le, Kara Sake Koii Kara Le, Mana Nahin Ghabaraataa, Jai Lakshmi Maataa

Tuma Bina Yagya Na Hove, Vastra Na Koii Paataa Vastra Na Koii Paataa, Khaana Paana Kaa Vaibhava, Khaana Paana Kaa Vaibhava, Saba Tumase Hii Aataa, Jai Lakshmi Maataa Shubha Guna Mandira Sundara, KshIrodadhi Jaataa Maiyaa KshIrodadhi Jaataa, Ratana Chaturdasha Tuma Hii Ratana Chaturdasha Tuma Hii, Koii Nahiin Paataa, Jai Lakshmi Maataa Aartii Lakshmii Jii Kii, Jo Koii Nara Gaataa Maiyaa Jo Koii Nara Gaataa, Ura Aananda Umanga Ati, Ura Aananda Umanga Ati, Paapa Utara Jaataa, Jai Lakshmi Maataa Jai Lakshmi Maataa, Maiyaa Jaya Lakshmi Maataa Tumako Nishadina Dhyaavata, Tumako Nishadina Dhyaavata Hara Vishnu Vidhaataa, Jai Lakshmi Maataa Jai Ambe Gaurii Jai Ambe Gaurii, Maiyaa Jai Shyaamaa Gaurii Nishadina Tumako Dhyaavata, Hari Brahma Shivajii Jai Ambe Gaurii Maanga Sinduura Viraajata, Tiko Mriga Madako Maiyaa Tiko Mriga Madako, Ujjvalase Dauu Nainaa Ujjvalase Dauu Nainaa, Chandravana Niiko, Jai Ambe Gaurii Kanaka Samaana Kalevara, Raktaambara Raaje Maiyaa Raktaambara Raaje, Raktapushpa Galamaalaa, Raktapushpa Galamaalaa, Kanthahaara Saaje, Jai Ambe Gaurii Kehari Vaahana Raajata, Khadaga Khappara Dhaari Maiyaa Khadaga Khappara Dhaari, Sura Nara Munijana Sevata, Sura Nara Munijana Sevata, Tinake Dukha Haari, Jai Ambe Gaurii Kaanana Kunadala Shobhita, Naasaagre Motii Maiyaa Naasaagre Motii, Kotika Chandra Divaakara, Kotika Chandra Divaakara, Sam Raajata Jyotii, Jai Ambe Gaurii Shumbha Nishumbha Bidaare, Mahishaasura Ghaatii Maiyaa Mahishaasura Ghaatii, Dhuumra Vilochana Nainaa, Dhuumra Vilochana Nainaa, Nishadina Madamaatii, Jai Ambe Gaurii Brahmaanii Rudraanii, Tuma Kamalaa Raanii Maiyaa Tuma Kamalaa Raanii, Aagama-Nigama Bakhaanii, Aagama-Nigama Bakhaanii, Tuma Shiva Pataraanii, Jai Ambe Gaurii

Chausatha Yoginii Gaavata, Nritya Karata Bhairon Maiyaa Nritya Karata Bhairon, Baajata Taala Mridanga Baajata Taala Mridanga, Aura Baajata Damaruu, Jai Ambe Gaurii Tuma Ho Jaga Kii Maataa, Tuma Hii Ho Bhartaa Maiyaa Tuma Hii Ho Bhartaa, Bhaktana Kii Dukha Hartaa, Bhaktana Kii Dukha Hartaa, Sukha Sampati Kartaa, Jai Ambe Gaurii Bhujaa Chaara Ati Shobhita, Vara Mudraa Dhaarii Maiyaa Vara Mudraa Dhaarii, Manavaanchita Phala Paavata, Manavaanchita Phala Paavata, Sevata Nara Naarii, Jai Ambe Gaurii Kanchana Thaala Viraajata, Agaru Kapuura Baatii Maiyaa Agaru Kapuura Baatii, Bhaalaketu Mein Raajata, Bhaalaketu Mein Raajata, Kotiratana Jyotii, Jai Ambe Gaurii Thvameva Matha Cha Thvameva Matha Cha, Pitha Thvameva Thvameva Bandushcha, Sakha Thvameva Thvameva Vidya, Dravinam Thvameva Thvameva Sarvam Mama Dheva Dheva Kayena Vacha Mansendri Yerva Budhyathma Nava Prakrithi Svabhavath Karomi Yadyat Sakalam Parasmai Narayanayeti Samarpayami


Married Man Bechara Dukhi bhi nahi ho sakta....

Wife:
I love you baby..

Husband (softly) :
I love you too..

Wife :
Upset kyun lag rahe ho....??

Husband :
Bas thoda mood off tha..

Wife:
Doston ke saath to bade khush rehte ho,
aur mere saath hi drame..

Husband (pyar se) :
Aisa kuch nahi jaanu,
tabiyat thodi theek nahi hai..

Wife:
Haan abhi dost phone karega to 2 sec mein tabiyat theek ho jayegi..

Husband:
Dost kahan se aa gaye,
mera mood thoda upset hai bas..

Wife:
Mere saath hi ye sab hota hai,
friends ke saath enjoy karte ho,
badi has has ke pictures click karwate ho.
Ya koi aur ladki pasand aa gayi..??

Husband (aur jyada pyar se) :
arrey, kahan se kahan baat le jaa rahi ho..?

Wife:
Aaj sab clear hoga !!

Husband: Kya clear karna hai jaanu,
aisa kya ho gaya..??

Wife (khud confused) :
Jab tum khud clear nahi,
tumhe kuch pata nahi to main kya bolun..!!

Husband (trying to act smart) :
Tumhe hua kya hai ??
kis baat pe upset ho ??
Batao!!

Wife:
Tumhari sangat hi kharab hai !!

Husband:
Mere saath to tum ho!!

Wife:
Ab bohot ho gaya,
ab aur nahi!!

Husband (fully crashed) :
Hua kya hai ?
ye to bata do..

Wife:
Hum ab saath nahi reh sakte?..

Husband:
Ye baat kahan se aayi?..

Wife:
I want Divorce..

Husband:
Hmmmm OK !!..

Wife (gone crazy) :
Haan, yehi chahte ho tum to,
fir tum jo marzi kar sako..

Husband:
Arrey tumne khudne bola abhi,
maine kya galat kaha..??

Wife:
Itni problem thi to bola kyun nahi,
main khud bina bole chali jaati tumhari life se..

Husband (apne baal pakad kar) :
Mujhe meri galti to bata do..

Wife:
Waqt aane pe pata chalegi tumhe apne aap, jab main chali jaungi..

Husband:
Acha, to main wait karta hoon sahi waqt ka..

Wife:
Tum serious kab hoge..??

Husband:
Ab kya hospital mein admit ho jaun,
serious hone ke liye?..

Wife:
Go to hell..!!

Husband:
Dont call me again !!.

AFTER 3 HOURS..

Wife:
Tumhe pata hai na,
main tumhare bina nahi reh sakti jaanu,
sorry !!! I love you my baby..

Husband (Sab bhool kar) :
Acha, I love you tooo...

Wife:
To fir Upset kyun lag rahe ho ?............... !!!!
��


Killer shayaris are back!!
Using ur brain is strictly prohibited...
1) Mehbooba ke pyaar mein mar gaya peter,
Hero Honda Splendor 80km/Litre
2) IPL ke matches dekh ke logon ko maza aa raha hai,
12 saal se CID ka Daya ek hi Qualis Chala raha hai
3) Na jaan na pehchaan, tu mera mehmaan,
and the award goes to A.R.Rehman.
4) Manchester United mein khelta hai ROONEY
ACP Pradhuymann ne kaha " aakhir chahta kya hain khooni"
5) Kisiko na thi, mere pyaar ki khabar,
Kisiko na thi, mere pyaar ki khabar,
Diagram galat ho gaya, rubber de rubber
6) Teri adao pe main waari waari..
Dial 139 for railway enquiry.
7) Na jeene ki aarzoo na marne ka khauf..
The number you're trying is currently switched off.
Apne gamo ko bas dil me daba lo
Naya godrej powder hair dye, bas kaato gholo aur laga lo
9) yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak....
Cameraman praful ke saath deepak chaurasia AAJ TAK..
10) mehgai ke is daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
mehgai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano ramesh babu...
11) mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan...
mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan..
LIFEBUOY hai jahan tandurusti hai wahan...
12) Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna...
Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna...
BASANTI in kutton ke samne mat nachna....
13) Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...
Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...
Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala ..!!
14) Romeo ne juliet se kaha ek sach..
Romeo ne juliet se kaha ek sach..
Asali masale sach sach
MDH.....MDH ...!
15) 1 ladki ne kiya ladke ko gaal pe kiss
1 ladki ne kiya ladke ko gaal pe kiss
Mutual funds are subjected to market risk
16) Aatma Gayi Shareer Puraana ...
Aatma Chhod Gayi Shareer Puraana ..
Didi Tera Devar Deewana ..
17) Naach bulbul naach, tujhe paisa milega
hum CID se hain, koi apne jagah se nahi hilega..


Subeh se kutte saman barish ho rahi boss..... :p :D


पाकिस्तान में एक दम फिल्मी स्टाइल में पुलिस की वर्दी पहनकर दर्जनों आतंकवादी जेल में घुसे, गोलियां चलाईं, बम बरसाए और अपने साथियों को छुड़ाकर ले गए. पढ़ें पूरी खबर http://aajtak.intoday.in/story/taliban-militants-free-more-than-250-inmates-in-pakistan-prison-break-1-737597.html


JehDa POst LIKE Krne Aau , OhDa Dream true Ho jau

JehDa Ignore Kar AKAD Vikhau , Galian Ch Dhakke Khau :p

Kyoke Maa Di Dua Te Greeb Di Haaaa Khali Ni Jandi

ahO

<3 InDy JaSwal SiMar Piche Pagal


Killer shayaris are back!! Using ur brain is strictly prohibited... 1) Mehbooba ke pyaar mein mar gaya peter, Hero Honda Splendor 80km/ Litre 2) IPL ke matches dekh ke logon ko maza aa raha hai, 12 saal se CID ka Daya ek hi Qualis Chala raha hai 3) Na jaan na pehchaan, tu mera mehmaan, and the award goes to A.R.Rehman. 4) Manchester United mein khelta hai ROONEY ACP Pradhuymann ne kaha " aakhir chahta kya hain khooni" 5) Kisiko na thi, mere pyaar ki khabar, Kisiko na thi, mere pyaar ki khabar, Diagram galat ho gaya, rubber de rubber 6) Teri adao pe main waari waari.. Dial 139 for railway enquiry. 7) Na jeene ki aarzoo na marne ka khauf.. The number you're trying is currently switched off. Apne gamo ko bas dil me daba lo Naya godrej powder hair dye, bas kaato gholo aur laga lo 9) yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak.... Cameraman praful ke saath deepak chaurasia AAJ TAK.. 10) mehgai ke is daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo.. mehgai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo.. ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano ramesh babu... 11) mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan... mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan.. LIFEBUOY hai jahan tandurusti hai wahan... 12) Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna... Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna... BASANTI in kutton ke samne mat nachna.... 13) Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ... Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ... Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala ..!! 14) Romeo ne juliet se kaha ek sach.. Romeo ne juliet se kaha ek sach.. Asali masale sach sach MDH.....MDH ...! 15) 1 ladki ne kiya ladke ko gaal pe kiss 1 ladki ne kiya ladke ko gaal pe kiss Mutual funds are subjected to market risk 16) Aatma Gayi Shareer Puraana ... Aatma Chhod Gayi Shareer Puraana .. Didi Tera Devar Deewana .. 17) Naach bulbul naach, tujhe paisa milega hum CID se hain, koi apne jagah se nae hilega.
.
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▁ ▂ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █ ძპὗἶl ρΓἶῆეპ █ ▇ ▆ ▅ ▄ ▂ ▁


Sasurji Ne Jamkar Choda
HI dosto mera naam rohini hai.
Meri umer 32 saal hai. Me ek
middel class family mai raheti
hoon. Aaj me apko mere jivan ki
ek sachhi ghatna bata rahi
hoon. Mere ghar main me, mere
pati, mere do ladke aur mere
sasur rahte hai. Ye baat tabki
hai jab mera bada bachha ek
saal ka tha. Tabhi mere pati ki
duty night me thi
aur wo raat ko 8 baje kam par
jate aur subah 6 baje ghar lot
ate the. Raat ko me aur mere
sasur aur mera ek saal ka
bachha hum teenohi ghar me
rahte the. Meri saas to mere
shadi se pahelihe gujar gayi thi.
Tabhi meri umer 24 saal thi. Aur
mere sasur ki umer 51 saal thi.
Mere sasur ki umer 51 thi lekin
wo 40-45 ke lagte the. Mere pati
ki duty subah hone ke karan
tabhi hum dono me jyada Salman Khan
nahi hota tha kabhi kabar
mahine me ek baar agar moka
mila to hi ham Salman Khan kar pate the.
Dinbhar pitaji ghar pe rahte the
aur ratko mere pati ghar pe
nahi rahate the. Hamara ghar
1bhk ka flat hai isiliye hame
kabhi mouka bhi nahi milta tha.
Iski wajah se meri pyas badh
rahi thi aur muze rat bhar nind
nahi aati thi. Ek rat muze pyas
lagi to me uthi me pani pine ke
liye kichen me gayi. Pani pine ke
baad me mere kamrme jaane
wali hi thi ki muze bathroom se
kuch awaj ayi to me udhr kya
hai ye dekhne ke liye bathroom
ke idhar gayi. hamare bathroom
ka darwaja jara pooran tha
isliye uska kuch hissa gira hua
tha mene gire huye hisse se
ander najar daali to mene
dekha ki mere sasurji ander
adhe nange the aur wo unka
land haat me lekar hila rahe the.
Me unka land dekhkar chuok
gayi unka land 8 inch lamba tha.
Wo use jor se hila rahe the aur
thodi der me unhone diwar
pwr unka paani chod diya aur
kapde pehanne lage tabhi me
waha se nikal ayee aur mere
bistar par jake so gayee. Muze
saari raat nind nahi ayee me sirf
mere sasur ke bare me sochati
rahi. Subah hotehi me uth gayi
aur apna kaam karne lagi. Lekin
mera kaam me man nahi lag
raha tha muze to sirf kal rat ki
bat yaad aa rahi thi. Me dinbhar
mere sasur ke baare me hi
sochati rahi shyam ko jab mere
pati kaam par chale gaye to
mene man hi man me ek plan
banaya aur mere sasurji ko
patane ka irada kar liya. Mera
beta ek saal ka tha wo abhi bhi
mera hi doodh pita tha. Mere
sasur tv dekh rahe the me unke
samne aakar baith gayi ar tv
dekhane lagi wo tv dekhane me
vyast the mene unke samne
mere bachhe ko doodh pilane
ke liye mera ek right side wala
breast nikala aur mere bachhe
ko doodh pilane lagi. Mere sasur
ne meri aur dekha aur firse tv
dekhne lage. Me unke samne
kabhi bhi doodh pilane nahi
baithi thi isliye wo muze dekhne
lage mene jaan boozhkar unpar
dhyan nahi diya. Mera beta so
gaya tha mera breast khula tha
par mene jaanboozhkar use
khula hi rakha aur me tv dekhne
lagi. mere sasur bich bich me
meri aur dekhte aur firse tv
dekhne lagte. Ab muze pata chal
gaya tha ki unki nazar mere
chati par thi. Ab wo tv chodkar
mere chati ko dekh rahe the.
Mene akdmse unhe poocha ''
pitaji aap ye baar baar meri aur
yoon kya dekh rahe hai kuch
chahiye kya ?'' mere poochne
par wo dar gaye aur kaha ''
kuch nahi me bas yoon hi dekh
raha tha ''
tab mene kuch nahi kaha aur
me unke paas jakar baith gayee
aur unka haat mere chati
rakhakar kaha ki '' pitaji muze
maloom hai ki aap mere chati
ko dekh rahe the agar apko
meri chati itni achhi lagi to
muzse kah diya hota me apke
liye kabhi na nahi kahti'' yah
soonkar wo mere chati par hat
firate hooye bole '' me bhi yahi
chahta tha pr meri himmat hi
nahi ho rahi thi tumse kahne ki
isliye me tumhe hamesha
chupkese dekhta tha aur tumhe
sapnome hi chodta tha'' aur wo
muze jaminpar litake mere
blaoje ke batan kholne lage
uanonhe mera blouje khola aur
meri choochiya dabane lage. wo
kahne lage'' bahu tumhara
sharir to bahut hi komal aur
madak hai tumhe chodne me
bohat maza ayega mene bohat
din ke baad kisi auratko mere
haatome paaya hai tumhari
saas marne ke baad me bahut
akela hua tha aur mera sharir
Salman Khan ke liye bhahut hi pyasa ho
gaya tha isliye me khudhi
haatose apna paani gira raha
tha achha hua tum mil gayi nahi
to muze yesehi marna padta aaj
me apni barso ki tammana
poori kroonga aaj tumhe abhi
tak kisine nahi diya hoga itna
sookh dunga'' Aur wo meri
saari me haat dalne lage meri
haalt bhahot hi kharab huyee
thi me poori taraha Salman Khan me
doob gayee thi muze bhale
boore ki koi samaj nahi rahi.
pitaji ne meri saari nikal di aur
mera peticot nikalkar meri
jaangho ko sehlane lage isse me
pagal ho uthi aur uanke
hotopar hot rakhkar me unko
kiss karne lagi.
unonhe mere saare kapde nikal
diye aur aur ab wo khudke
kapde nikal ne lage.
unka sharir abhi tak poora
javan tha wo poore javan admi
ke taraha hi lagrahe the unonhe
apne saare kapde nikal diye aur
wo poore nange ho gaye unka
8 inch lamba land mere samne
saap jayse apna fun nikalkar
naach raha tha unonhe mere
haat me unka land diya aur use
choosne ke lye kaha me us land
ko choosne lagi wo mere muh
me poori tarah nahi ja raha tha
me use adha hi apne muh me le
parhi thi uski chaudai itni jayda
thi ki mera muh bohat khul
gaya tha aur mera muh dukh
raha tha mene use muh se
nikala aur use haatse hilane lagi.
tabhi pitaji ne meri choochiya
pakdi aur use apne muh me
dalkar choosne lage wo mera
breastfeed kar rahe the wo
mera dhoodh pine lage aur ek
hat meri chut me daalkar usme
ungli daalkar ander bahar karne
lage wo mera poora ka poora
doodh pine lage the mere dono
breast poore khali karne ke
baad wo meri tango ke bich aye
aur meri tange upar karke
unhone meri chut par apna land
rakha aur muze savdhan hone
ko kaha aur ek jor ka dhakka
diya aur unka land poora mere
chutme gaya mere muh se jor ki
chikh nikal gayi fir unhone mere
dono haat pakde aur use jorse
kaskar pakda aur jor se apna
land age piche karne lage mere
chutme bohat dard hone laga
meri ankhose aasoo ane lage
par jyase unhe meri koi chinta
hi nahi ayse wo muze jorse
chod rahe the mere muh se avaj
nikal rahi thi me
aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh
aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh
uuuuuuuuuuuuffffffff
uuuuuuuuufffffffffff karke unka
sath de rahi thi mere chut se
pani nikal gaya tha isliye jab wo
unka land under bahar karte
tabhi pich pich awaj arahi thi
meri chut boahat dard kar rahi
thi wo muze chodte huye kabhi
mere janghopar thappad marte
to kabhi meri pet par to kabhi
meri gap par isliye mera saara
sharir lal ho gaya tha muze
bohat dard ho rah tha jayse
muze koi murd nahi to koi
janvar chod raha ho ayesa lag
raha tha wo mere poori sharir
ko masal rahe the ahd ghanta
hone ke baad wo mere chut me
hi apna pani chodkar mere upar
so gaye wo poori tarahse
pasinese labalab the unka
pasina mere sharir ko lag raha
tha wo bohat hi thuk chuke the
lekin me galat thi pandhara min
ke baad wo phirse uthe aur
muze phirse chodne lage us
raat unonhe muze jibharke
choda kuch din hamara khel
ayese hi chalta raha.
ek do saal hum ayse hi chodai
karte rahe baad me muze unse
ek ladka hua aur me firse maa
ban gayi uske baad mere pati ki
duty change ho gayi aur wo
subhah kam par jane lage aur
mere sasur ki tabiyat bhi kuch
kharab hone lagi thi isliye
hamara nata choot raha tha aur
mere bachhe bhi bade ho gaye
the iasliye hum dono ne chudai
karna chod diya tha


Sms ke baap ks baap ka baap

Sms ka pardada.......
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1. AURAT KE 7 JHOOTH 1. I LOVE YOU 2. ME KUNVARI HOON 3.MUJE SEX PASAND NAHI 4. TUM PEHLE AADMI HO 5. AAP KA BAHOT BADA HE 6. UPER NAHI AAUNGI 7. SIRF EK BAR LUNGI

2. WHAT IS LOVE ? "L" KO PAKAD KE "O" KO DABA KE "V" MEIN GUSA KE JAB "E" KI AWAZ AATI HAI TO USE LOVE KEHTE HAI

3. PYAAR MOHABBAT DHOKHAA HAI, PAKAD KE THOK AGAR MOKA HAI, AGAR WOH KARE VIRODH TO THOK LAGA KAR NIRODH, AUR PHIR BHI KARE INKAR TO KAR DE USKA BALAATKAR

4. FAGUN MEIN AYEE HOLI, EK CHUT BOLI, KOI HAI JO HAMSE KHELE HOLI LANDO NE BANAYI TOLI, SARI RAT CHUT TATOLI, SUBAH UTH KAR CHUT BOLI KABHI NAHI KHELUNGI HOLI

5. AGAR RELIANCE BRA BANAYEGA TO SLOGEN KYA HOGA? "KARLO BALL MUTHI MEIN , MERE PAPA KA SAPNA ,, SABKE DOODH PE DHAKKAN APNA"

6. MIRINDA CONDOM: ZOR KA ZATKA DHIRE LAGE *MRF CONDOM: EXTRA RUBBER, EXTRA MILLEAGE * MOOV CONDOM : ANDAR TAK JAYE AARAM DILAYE

7. NASBANDHI TEAM WORKER VISITS A VILLEAGE ONCE AGAIN -A VILLEGER: AARE KAMINO ! PEHLE AAYE THHE TO LINE KAAT GAYE, AB KYA NAL BHI LE JAOGE?

8. KON KEHTA HAI AURAT OR MOBILE MAIN FARK HAI DO NO KO PAS RAKH NA PADTA HAI DO NO KA KHYAL RAKH NA PADTA HAIAUR DO NO KO RAT KO CHARGE KAR NA PADTA HAI

9. AURAT NE AANKH MEIN KAJAL LAGAYA TO USKI CHUT RONE LAGI ANKH NE PUCHA "ben tu kyon ro rahi hai" CHUT NE KAHA " ye madarchod mard, dekhenge tujhe or THOKENGE mujhe

10. TEACHER ASKS CHILDREN , WHAT DO YOU WISH TO IN FUTURE ? MOHAN: IWANT TO BE PIOLOT.
VINAY: I WANT TO BE DOCTOR. MADHU : I WANT TO BE MOTHER. ANIL : IWANT TO HELP MADHO

11. NAMASKAR MAIN AMITABH BACHAN BOL RAHA HOON KBC SE! APKI BIWI MERI HOT SEAT PE BETHIHAIN, AGLI AWAZ AAP KI BIWI KI HOGI...... ooh! Aaaah!!! oouch

12.ACHHA TO AAP SAMAJ SEWA KARTE HAIN ? JI HAAN, MAIN GIRE HUVEKO UTHATA HUN KYA KARTE HO AAP JI MAIN BRA BANATA HUN

13.KAKI: KALE HU RAATE NATI TO TAME SU KARIYU, KAKA: SAME SANTABEN NE TYAN JAIN AVYO ANE 20 Rs AAPYA. KAKAI: SU KAM APYA MARE MAGAN BHAI PASE THI 40 LEVAANA CHHE

14. DEKH KE TERI FATI SALWAR, UATH PAYI MERI CHOTI TALWAR. JAB US TALWAR SE MAINE KIYA WAR, USSE NIKLI EK AISI DHAR, JISSE BANA APNA PARIVAR

15.WOH AAYE HAMARI KABAR PE , CHAL DIYE MOOT KE, CHALO ISI BAHANE DARSHAN HO GAYE CHUT KE. HAIRLESS THI UNKI CHUT , LEKIN BHENCHOD AB KYA FAYDA JAB HUM BAN GAYE BHOOT

16.KAKI: KALE HU RAATE NATI TO TAME SU KARYU, KAKA:SAME SANTA BEN NI TYAN JAI AAVYO AN 20 Rs AAPYA, KAKI: SU KARVA AAPYA MARE MAGAN BHAI PASE 40 Rs LEWANA HATA

17.DEKH KE TERI FATI SALWAR, UATH GAI MERI CHOTI TALWAR. JAB US TALWAR SE MAINE KIYA WAR, USSE NIKLI DHAR,JISSE BANA APNA PARIVAR....,

18.AAI JAWAANI, CHHAAI MASTI,LUND TAGDAA TO CHOOT HAI SASTI ,LUND MERA HO GAYA BEES KA ,
CHOOT HAI TERI SOLA BARAS KI ,LUND MERA TERI CHOOT KO TARASE ,TERI CHOOT MERE LUND KO TARASTI
TERI CHOOT KE IS DARIYA MEI ,BAHNE DE MERE LUND KI KASHTI ,LUND NA AISA MILEGA TAGADA
DHOONDH LE CHAAHE SAARI BASTI ,MILEGA TERI CHOOT KO SUKUN ,AAJA KARLE LUND-PARASTI
NAKHRA MAT KAR KHOL DE JALDI ,VARNA KARUNGA JABBAR-DUSTI ,CHOOT PHAAD DE LUND SE APNE
AISEE KAAMDEV KI HASTI

19.SPECIAL GUJARATI FILM NI RAMZAT ::BRA MA BOBLU NATHI SAMATU::CHUT TARA VEHTA PANI:: HALO NE APNA PALANG MA::zATTA VERRANA CHOAK MA

20.HE ANDAR GAYA SHE:HA! GAYA HE:DUKHYA KYA SHE: ZARABI NAHI HE:AUR EK BAR SHE:AB IS MAIN DALO HE:ACHHA LAGA SHE: HA BAHUT HE :OK MEDAM KA SENDAL PACK KARO

21.SARDAR JI: "O YAAR ME BADI MUSKIL ME PAD GAYA HUN. MERI BIWI MUJSE 1 SHOT KA RS 100 LETI HAI." FRIEND: "O YAAR TU TOLUCKY HAI, AURO SE 300 LETI HAI"

22. SPECIAL GUJARATI FILM NI RAMZAT. "BRA MA BOBLU NATHI SMATU" :: CHUT TARA VEHTA PANI::HALO NE AAPANA PALANG MA

23.HE: ANDAR GAYA SHE: HA! GAYA HE: DUKHA KYA SHE:ZARA BHI NAHI HE: AUR EK BAAR SHE: AB ISME DALO HE: ACCHA LAGA SHE:HA BAHUT HE: O.K MADOM KA SANDOL PACK KARO.

24.EK RAND NE APNI MA SE PUCHH KE" PYARE ISQU AYR MOHABBAT " KYA HAI? TO MA NE KAHA " KUCH NAHI SAB FREE ME CHOD NE KE BAHANE HAI"

25.EK BOY EK GIRL NE PUCHHE CHHE KE JYARE GIRL TOILET JAY TYARE WHISTLE NO VOICE KEM AAVE ?GIRL JAWAB AAPE CHHE KE AMNE BHAGVANE TMARI JEM 8 INCH NO SILENCER NATHI AAPYO

26.EK ADMI BEACH PER ULTA SOYA THA EK ADMI AKE USKI GAND PE TABLA BAJANE SHURU KIYA AUR THAKKAR BANDH HO GAYA ADMI PALAT KE BOLA THAK GAYA LE AB BANSRI BAJA

27.WHAT IS THE DIFFERENT BETWIN MISSILE & CONDOM ANSWER: EK KE FATNE SE ABADI KAM HOTI HAI AUR DUSRE KE FATNE SE ABADI BADHTI HAI

28.1 BAR 1 SARDAR KI GAND MAIN DARD THA. DOCTOR NE BOLA 7 DIN DAWA LAGANE CLINIC AANE KO KAHA. 7DIN BAD Dr. NE KAHA ABAPNI BIWI SE DWA LGVA LENA. JAB SARDAR KI BIWI NE DAWA LAGANE KE LIYE EK HATH SARDAR KE KANDHE PAR RAKHA TO SARDAR BOLA TUM TO EK HATH KANDE PE RAKHTI HO Dr. TO DONO HATH KANDHE PAR RAKHTA THA

29.PARTY MA NARENDRA MODI NE BENAZIR BHUTTO E LAFO MARYO. SAFAI MA MODI BOLYA: "SALI MUJSE BOLI AA-DAAB, AA-DAAB... ISLIYE MAINE DABAA DIYE!!!!

30.LADY: Dr. I ALWASE FEEL TIRED. Dr:HOW OFTEN U DO SEX? LADY: EVERY DAY Dr. : AVOID SUNDAY. LADY: SORRY Dr.IT IS THE ONLY DAY WHEN I"M WITH MY HUSBAND

31.UANCHI MEDI UNCHA MOL, JANGYO UTARI PIKI KHOL, BOBLA TARA DOL MDOL, SITHA TARA ZOL M ZOL. GANDE CHHE NANI BAKHOL, LODO PURVU POL M POL

32.CHARAS PIVO TO AANKHO LAL, KIS KARO TO HOTH LAL, SHOT MARO TO LUND LAL, PAKDE GAYE TO GAND LAL, BACH GAYE TO JULE LAL

33. 16 KI KALI BOLE KHILU KHILU 21 TAK KISI SE MILU MILU, 40 TAK ILU ILU, 50 BAD DHILU DHILU, 60 BAD KABHI NA HILU , BAS AISHE HI JILU

34. LADKI: MOM BAJU WALE LADKE KO DEKH KE MERI BRA TIGHT HO JATI HAI .. MOM: KAL TUM BINA BRA PAHEN KE JANA, SALE KI PENT WHITE HO JAYE GI

35.BARMUDO PEHRO TO TAME SARA LAGO CHHO. JANGIYO PAHER TO PYARA LAGO CHHO. NAGA HAMNA THI JOYA NATHI MARA THI GAND SANTADTA LAGO CHHO.

36.MAIKE GAI PATNI KO SARDAR NE KHAAT LIKHA " 50 KAMATA HUN 55 UDAATA HUN TUM APNI MA CHUDVAO" BIWI NE JAWAB MAIN KHAT LIKHA "50 KAMATE HO 55 UDATE HO 5 KE LIYE KANHA GAND MARATE HO"

37.woh raat diwali vali thi,woh piya se chudne vali thi,koi duja aake chod gaya,land ko lehnge se poch gaya,uski ma ne kiya virodh,tu kaise chudi bina nirodh .

38.Woman visiting dentist, gets into her chair,lowers her panties,lifts her legs. Dentist: I'm no gynac. Woman: I know, I want you to pull out my husband's teeth.

39.Boy :kaash mein teri chaddi hota to teri jannat se chipka hota. Girl : saley soch le, main chuda rahi hti aur tu kone mein pada hota!

40.GIRL ASKING A FRUITWALA : " BHAIYYA, WHY CAN"T U GIVE ME HARD BANANAS THESE R 2 SOFT". FRUITWALA: "MEMSAAB, KABHI TO KELE KHANE KE LIYE BHI LE LIYA KARO "

41.Tired Guju comes home his lugai on bed Guju asks kuch sabzi roti pakai hai ya yuhi chut fellai hai. -Wife kuch atta chawal laye ho ya sirf land uthake ayeho??

42.BEDARD ZAMANA KYA JANE, KYA CHEEZ JUDAI HOTI HAI, HUM LAND PAKAD KAR SOTE HAI, GHAR GHAR ME CHUDAI HOTI HAI

43. Woman being raped, phones police, says : 'Hellooh, ooh, uuhaah, o yes, uoah, this man is raping me, aah, oyes, can you come and arrest him after one hour...'

44.A share broker caught his wife in bed with her boyfriend, shocked he asked his wife:"what are you doing with him?" His wife replied:"Darling, I've gone public!"

45.Dur kahi ek basti thi jaha kahi rande basti thi unki gaand me itne masti thi jitna daalo utna hasti thi magar Aap kyon haste ho kya aap ki woh basti thi

46. Rich man to a very poor man: How come you have got such a BIG PENIS ? Poor man : Because when I was a little boy I had NO other TOY to PLAY with !

47.Guy:Can I touch ur software? Girl:First show me ur hardware. Guy:Come sit down on my joystick. Girl:My disk is not protected,u'll infect me with virus.

48. HUSBAND WIFE GO TO SEE ANIMAL FARE. GUIDE SHOWS A BIG BULL,SAYS HE HAS SEX 36O TIMES AN YEAR.WIF TELS HUS TO TRY SAME.HUS SAYS ASK HIM WHETHER HE USES SAME COW?

49.SUNDAY MENU: CHUTPAAK PURI,VAGHARELA GOTYA,AAKHA LODA NU SHAAK,SURTI JHAAT NO SAMBHAR!DESERT : EK PLATE GU MALAI MAARKE.THALI NA FAKTA RS.25/-! SP.INTRO.OFFER!

50.A husband said to his wife if u r in mood of Salman Khan just shake my dick twice i'll understand. Wife asked if i m not then. Husband replied then shake it 50 60 times

51.A little boy and a girl in a bathtub having a bath.Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy."Can I touch it?No way-you already broke yours!:-)

52.Zindagi hai kya, ek arman bhosdi ka. Aurat ke peeche PAGAL, insaan bhosdi ka. Rubber ka lund, Plastic ki chuten, kya kya bana raha hai JAPAN bhosdi ka!!!!

53.Teacher:Why did you bring your cat to school? Stu:Coz I pity my cat. Teacher:WHY? Stu:Coz I heard my sister's boyfriend say to her"TONITE I WILL EAT YOUR PUSSY"

54.Kid: how baby comes into the world? Dad: in the moonlight, an angel comes to earth and leaves a kid in mom's lap. kid: you mean fucking is useless!!!

55. Boy:Can I kiss U? Girl:Where On vertical or horizontal lips? Boy:Wot? Girl: I mean on upper or lower lips? Boy: I didnt get u? Girl: Banchod, hontpe ya chut pe

56. Bajpayi to mushraff : gam-e-ulfat me na gaand maro hamari, kabhi milo fursat se to ma chodenge tumhari ... if u r true INDIAN send this msg 2 atleast 5.!

57.Sex is a sensation caused by temptation, a man puts his dicktation in a womens ventilation to satisfy frustration got my conversation or need a demonstration?"

58.MAJNU: Aé Khuda, tuné ladki ki kamar kya banai; Mitti kam padi ya rishwat khai? KHUDA: Na mitti kam padi Na rishwat khai; Kamar dabai tabhi to CHEST baahar aai

59.DEKH KE QUTUB MINAR, SHAYAR KA DIMAAG DAUDA. AASMAN KO CHODNE CHALA, DHARTI KA LAUDA.

60. Q-how do know that the girl wearing a skirt is not wearing panties? A-by looking at dandruff on her feet

61.How do you teach a girl maths ? Add a bed, substract her clothes, divide her legs, enter your sqaure root, leave your solution and hope she doesn't multiply !

62.A BOY PULLS DOWN HIS PANTS & ASKS A GIRL 'DO U HAVE THIS?'. GIRL LIFTS HER skirt,slips the panty & says'MY MOM SAID IF U HAVE THIS U CAN get PLENTY OF THOSE'.

63.6 yr boy caught in rap case. In court, lawyer: holdin boys penis, UR HONOUR, C litle boy can he rape sum1? Boy 2 lawyer: ITNA NA HILA NAHI TO CASE HAAR JAYAGA

64. Excited man returns Home & tells Wife"Darlin I got 4 Good Tyres for the price of1.Wife"U stupid man,we don't even hv a Car".Man "do I coment when u buy ur Bras

65.What is the defination of a gynac? A.He is the only fool on earth who looks for problems in places where most people find pleasure

66.DEAR GOOD NIGHT.BAND KAR DE LIGHT, LUND KAR TIGHT, DAL DE UNDER SLIGHT CHUT SE KAR THODI FIGHT, NIKLEGA JAB WHITE WHITE, U WILL FEEL ALRIGHT. SWEET DREAMS.

67. WHAT IS KISS? KISS IS AN INQUIRY IN THE 1ST FLOOR , ABOUT VACANCY IN THE GR.FLOOR.

68.All couples have different phases of Salman Khan life. Age 20 din raat- age 28 roz raat- age 38 jume raat- age 48 chand raat- age 58 only jazbaat & gall bat

69.ADVANTAGES OF BREAST MILK:A)NO NEED 2 BOIL B)CAT CAN'T STEAL IT C)AVAILABLE IN ATTRACTIVE CONTAINERS D) POPULAR IN ALL AGE GROUPS E) EK PE EK FREE

70. Son:Mom w do babies com from? Mom:when daddy puts his penis in mom's vagina. Son:but that day u had daddy's penis in ur mouth Mom:thats for getng jwelery

71.Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?

72.sardarni lying nude with her legs wide apart on the bed asks Sardarji "Do u know what this means?" He says "Yes, u need the whole fuckin bed 2 sleep"

73.Guy says 2+2is4 4+5is9 ican get into urs but u cant get into mine,d GIRL replies 2+2is4 4+5is9 ican knw d length of urs but u cant knw d depth of mine

74.1day,a clerk saw her boss's pants unzip!She ask"Boss!Ur garage doors open!"Boss:"do u c my FERRARI?" CLERK:"No! i c a SMALL scooter wit 2 punctured tyres."

75.HUSBAND:Pls Aaj karne Do.Mai Tumhein Kapde La Dunga WIFE:"No" Zevar La Dunga "No" Ghar Le Dunga "No" BETA BOLA: Abu Meri Gand Marlo aur CYCLE DILADO

76. BUSH SHOWING HIS PENIS: THIS IS POWER OF AMERICA, QUEEN SHOWING HER PUSSY: THIS IS BEAUTY OF U.K VAJPAYEE SHOWING HIS ASS: THIS IS PARTITIONOF INDIA & PAKISTAN.

77. Teacher: kya cheez muh mein nahin leni chahiye. Student: jalta hua bulb T: why S: kal raat ko mummy papa se keh rahi thi 'bulb bujha do to muh mein loongi'

78.Saans aur bahu main hamesha anban kyo ? Kyonki jo ladke ki underwear saans ne 25 saal sambali woh bahu ne 2 minute main utari.

79.jab gabbar singh paida hua to usne apni ma se kya poocha ?????????????????????????? kitne aadmi the?!!!!

80.What do guys usually say after Sex? - I LUV U? Wr@ng! - THAT WAS GREAT? Wr@ng again! - I LUV IT? Wr@ng AGAIN!! The Answer is: oh where r my fuckin clothes.

81.NEVER FUCK A TEL OPERATOR - AFTER 3MTS SHE'LL SAY YOUR TIME OUER. N'VR FUCK A NURSE SHE'LL SAY NEXT PLS. BUT FUCK A TEACHER SHE'LL SAY REPEAT 5 TIMES!

82.SEX IS LIKE NOKIA: CONNECTING PEOPLE.ITS LIKE NIKE:JUST DOIT. ITS LIKD PEPSI:YEH DIL MANGE MORE. ITS LIKE PAN PARAG:EK SE MERA KYA HOGA.!

83.20 Pray for mé,I went to the doctor today & he told me i had AIDS- Acquired-Intelligence & Devastating Sexappeal !!! pls dont react i will pass it to you.

84. 1)intelligent man+intelligent woman= ROMANCE 2)inteligent man+stupid woman= PREGNANCY 3)stupid man+ inteligent woman=AFAIR 4)stupid man+ stupid woman= MARIAGE LIKE YOU

85. What is the similarity between banking and having Salman Khan. In both cases you loose interest after withdrawal.

86. SEX IS LIKE NOKIA: CONNECTING PEOPLE.ITS LIKE NIKE:JUST DOIT. ITS LIKD PEPSI:YEH DIL MANGE MORE. ITS LIKE PAN PARAG:EK SE MERA KYA HOGA.!

87.NEVER FUCK TELEPHONE OPERATOR- AFTER 3MIN SHE WILL SAY YOUR TIME OUER. NEVER FUCK NURSE SHE WILL SAY NEXT PLEASE. BUT FUCK TEACHER SHE WILL SAY REPEAT AGAIN

88. Whats the similarity between an audio cassette & a female ??? They can be used on both sides, kabhi khushi kabhi gum kabhi pussy kabhi bum.

89.Gaandu bhosdika madarchod chutiya bhadva bhenchod chutmarika landfakeer chodu jhatu lundus are bad words. Do not use them.

90.Man went to hotel where only ladies r waiter he orders for milk waiter opens bra shows her balls and ask to suck milk man said thank god i didnt asked 4 water

91.girl looks at a mans tatoo:NIKE on his arms;REEBOK on his legs;she screamed wen she saw AIDS on his penis!Relax,he said,if its erect,it reads ADIDAS

92.Vajpayee to Musharraf: "Gam-E-Ulfat mein na gand maro hamari, kabhi milo fursat mein to maa chodenge tumhari."

93.SERIOUS HEALTH WARNING: Sucking a pussy is very dangerous to your health because it is 5% urine, 3% acidic, 2% fatty & 90% highly addictive

94.Talwar aur salwar me ek samanta hoti hai.Dono kehi khulne per aadmi ghayal ho jata hai.!!

95. Executive comes late home aftr havng dogstyle Salman Khan wth his secretry at the office. Wife:Were hav u been? He shouts:Sara din office mein kutte ki tara laga raha

96.Teen Vyapari Baate Karte hai 1st: Bahut mandi hai,sari me kuch nahi milta 2nd: humko blouse me do mil jate hai 3rd: ghaagre me to humko ghar ka dalna padta.

97.Goan girl Rosemary divorced her husband,Mr.Lele coz she was sick of telling her name,"Roz Meri Lele "Imagine her luck,she got re-married to Mr.Marlow

98.A MAN ASKS A WOMAN, 'DO U WANNA DO SOME MAGIC?' 'MAGIC' SHE SAYS 'WOTS THAT?' 'WELL U COME BACK 2 MY PLACE, WE FUCK, THEN U DISAPPEAR!'

99.Girl 2 boss:"I m being Salman Khanually harassed,this guy comes everyday & says:ur hair smells nice"BOSS:"So whats wrong with that"GIRL:"That guy is a dwarf"

100. A kiss is a gamble,Salman Khan is a game,boys do the action,girls get the blame,they say you are pretty,they say you are fine,but 9 months later, they say"ITS NOT MINE"

101.Why is Salman Khan a 3 letter word? It's easier to spell than.... OH MY GOD YES NO OH SHIT YES DEEPER, YES GOD NO PLEASE NO SHIT YES OH, FUCK NO YES YES YES SHIT OH GOD FUCKING HELLYES .

102. Q : What was the biggest tragedy in SHOLAY? Ans: Ek toh Sanjeev Kumar ki Biwi nahin thi aur upar se Gabbar ne uske haath kat diye.!

103. Finding love is a MISSION... making love is a fucked up AMBITION... so follow the

104. man wants 2 buy a condom, SALESGIRL,may i hold ur penis 4 size?she orders 2 assistant,give me SMALL! wait give MEDIUM! wait give me LARGE! SHIT! GIV ME A TISSUE

105. One dick says to the other-lets go watch a Salman Khany movie. The other replies-R u crazy? Who's gonna stand for 3 hours?

106.what do 2 sardars say, when they have the same girlfriend? ANS: assi tussi same pussy kabhin tu ghusy kabhi main ghusy.

107.asked why he was beaten in public ,Sardarji said-i was in crowded bus& my photo fell from wallet,so i asked lady in front"madam,pls lift sari,i want2 take photo

108.5 ROADSIGNS THAT BEST DESCRIBES THE FEMALE ORGAN 1 Deep excavation 2. Slippery when wet 3. Stop on red signal 4. Slow down on curves & humps 5.Men at work

109.SEX is like maths.. ADD the bed.. MINUS the lights.. SUBTRACT the clothes.. DIVIDE the legs and get ready to MULTIPLY!

110.You're my Funny,Understanding,Cute,Kind,Intelligent,Naughty,God-fearing,Sweet,Honest,Independent,Truthful friend. In short,ur my F.U.C.K.I.N.G. S.H.I.T. fren

111.ONCE 2 FRIENDS GO FOR A FUCK TO A PROSTITUTE THE1st ONE COMES OUT & SAYS MY WIFE IS BETTER. THE 2nd ONE COMES OUT & SAYS U R RIGHT, YOUR WIFE IS BETTER!!!

112.SANTA IN USA WAS MASTURBATING LOOKING TOWARDS SKY. BANTA PASSING BY ASKED HIM WHAT HE WAS DOING. SANTA REPLIED "I AM FUCKING MY WIFE IN INDIA THRU SATTELITE

113.Girl;200/- Loongi Hil Hil Ke DOONGI, MAN; 100/- DOONGA, Hil Main Khud HI LOONGA, Girl;MADARCHOD 100/- BHI BACHAA LEY HAATH SE HI HILA LE!!!

114.LOVE is not measured by hugging, kissing and Salman Khan LOVE is respect and trust, accepting person with open legs and closed eyes... wet lips saying "PUSH IT MORE"

115.9 VARAS NI NANKI 10 E DOAFUTE 11 E LIMBU 12 E JANTA UGE 13 E PEHRE BRA 14 E CHRO 15 EJANGIYO BHINO 16 E KULA MOTA 17 E PIKO 18 E JIKO BHAI JIKO

116. A woman gave birth to 6 babies & on seeing this she got out off hospital bed. Slapped husband & shouted: I told ü not to do doggy style.

117. Penis & Balls arguing. Balls: Hey, U r very unfair! Evrytime u go in u never bring us along, only u enjoy! Penis: U think its fun? I always keep vomiting!

118.if u have 2 eggs between ur legs , u r a man , but if u have 4 eggs between ur legs , dont think u r super man , there is some one fucking u .

119. What is the difference between a SKAY and a SKIRT of a GIRL-SKAY covers whole UNIVERSE and SKIRT covers UNIVERSAL HOLE

120.A little boy and a girl in a bathtub having a bath.Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy."Can I touch it?No way-you already broke yours!:-)

121.Women -- women -- women -- ....... They hold you by your dick -- get into your brains -- analyse your past -- and fuck your future.

122.Why is a waist called a waist? ans. Because anything above the pussy and below the tits is a 'waste'..

123. Never marry a AIRTEL girl, She will say "TOUCH TOMORROW!" instead marry a TATA girl she will say "EVERY DAY IS A NEW IDEA"

124.A FOR APPLE, B FOR BADA APPLE, C FOR CHHOTA APPLE, D FOR DO APPLE, E FOR EK APPLE, F FOR FOUR APPLE, G FOR GAND ME DAL SAB APPLE HI HI HI HI......

125.AAP AAYE, AAP NE KHOLA, AAP NE NIKALA, AAPNE DALA, AAPKA KAM HO GAYA, AAP CHALE GAYE, HUM NIKAL KAR KHADE REH GAYE, KYONKI HAME DAL NA NAHI AATA THA ATM CARD

126.SEASON DHAMAKA ,####SEND YOUR GIRL FRIEND TO ME & GET A CHILD FREE. ........HURRY 1ST 10 WINNER WILL GET TWINS

127.IS HASIN MOUSAM MAIN AAM AADMI KYA CHAHTA HAI SUBHME M-A-N-D-I-R, SHAM KO M-A-D-I-R-A, AUR RAT KO M-A-N-D-I-R-A,

128.HARBHAJAN NE SUHAG RAT KO BIWI SE PUCHHA TUMHARA SEAL TUTA HAI KYA BIWI BOLI KAR DI NA SARDARO WALI BAAT SPINNER KO BHI KABHI OPENING MILTI HAI

129.A NEWLY MARRIED MAN: DOCTOR, KOI AISI TECHNIC NAHI KI JIS SE SEX BHI HO AUR PREGNANCY KA DAR BHI NA HO? Dr: HA, HAI BAS, BIWI KI GAND MAR TE RAHO

130.CLASS MAIN EK LADKI APNE BRA MAIN RAKHE BISCUIT KHA RAHI THI. THODA KHAKE FIR BRA ME CHUPA RAHI THI. SIR BOLA KYA KAR RAHI HO? TO LADKI BOLI "DUDH MAIN BISKIT DUBAKE KHA RAHI HU"{{{{

131.TEACHER: CYCLE ANE CHOKRI MA SHU FARK? STUDENT: CYCLE MA, GAND TEKVI PAG HALAVA PADE JYARE CHHOKRI MA PAG TEKVI GAND HALAVI PADE

132.SONG DIL KE JAROKHEME:........DUNLOAP KE GADE ME TUJKO SULAKAR, TANGO KO TERI ME UNCHI UTHAKAR, CHODUNGA ME SARI RAT,

133.JAB SE TELEPHONE KE NUMBER KE AAGE DO LAGA HE TABSE TELEPHONE OPRETOR YAHI KEHTI HAI PEHLE (.)(.)DO DABAVO PHIR LAGAVO

134.LADKI KI BRA NIKALO TO DESH MAIN NIKAL HOGA CHAND, PENTI UTARO TO KHUL JA SIMSIM, CHODO TO KYA MASTI KYA DHUM. CHOD NE KE BAD KASOTI ZINDGI KI

135.AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF PENIS-- WHEN I WAS YOUNG, I WAS SO CUTE, ALL LOVED ME BATH WITH ME POWDER ME NOW ALL SUCK ME STROK ME PUT ME IN DARK SLIPPERY HOLE TILL I VOMIT

136.PATNI: AAJE UPVAS CHHE KEVI RITE RAHI SHU PATI:(PATNI NI CHHATI JOI NE) HUN TO DUDH PAR RAHISH ANE TU PATNI: (PATI NI NICHHE JOI NE) HUN TO KERA PAR RAHISH

137.CHAL MERE AUZAR HO JA TAIYAR HILADE CHUT KE SAB TAR PHIR PILE DUDH BAR BAR AUR AAKHIR ME HO JANA GAAND PE SAVAR, VO BHI YAAD KAREGI MILA THA KOI GHODESAVAR

138.Shahjahan ne tajmahal ki har deewar ko dekha, har minare ko dekha, har kaleen ko dekha aur bola BHENCHOD BAHUT KHARCHA HO GAYA

139.Who have seen most boobs in the world? Ans:Gandhiji,bcoz most of indian currency hv his photo on it & in indian tradation safest locker is womens boobs

140.A crow shits on a sardar, sardarni hands over a tissue to sardarji. Sardar says: Ab kiski gaand ponchhu, kawwa to udd gaya.

141.A sadhu baba goes to a callgirl.He started walking after finishing KAAM.girl said babaji paisa?baba replied..Pagli tere se paisa thodi le sakta hoon !

142.SEX IS A GAME OF CARDS.IF U DONOT HAVE A GOOD PARTNER U BETTER HAVE A GOOD HAND

143.Bijli gul hone par ek lady ne bijli daftar phone kiya andhera hai ghar bhi koi nahi kisi ko bhej do jawab mila abhi koi nahi hai mombatti se kam chala lo

144.Woman visiting dentist, gets into her chair,lowers her panties,lifts her legs. Dentist: I'm no gynac. Woman: I know, I want you to pull out my husband's teeth.

145.SON:Mom,why do women enjoy Salman Khan more than men? MOM:When ur ear itches,u put ur finger in it & wiggle,then pull it out,which feels better ear or finger

146. Guy:Can I touch ur software? Girl:First show me ur hardware. Guy:Come sit down on my joystick. Girl:My disk is not protected,u'll infect me with virus.

147.A husband said to his wife if u r in mood of Salman Khan just shake my dick twice i'll understand. Wife asked if i m not then. Husband replied then shake it 50 60 times

148.Inspector saab,4 logo mein 1ne mere breast pakde,1ne meri gand mari,1ne chut chodi,1ne chuma.Insp:Bus, bhenchod FIR likha rahi hai ya land khada kar rahi hai

149.Kissing a lady's forehead is respect,lips is luv,breast is loyalty,tummy is heroism,vagina is patriotism & kissing her asshole is the greatest act of Bravery..

150.Sardarni screams: Aji sunte ho !! Raat ko bili saara doodh pi gayi !!Sardarji thunders: Is liye mai hamesha kehta tha ki raat ko blouse pehen kar soya karo !!

151.HOW CAN U RECOGNISE WEATHER UR COMPUTER MOUSE IS MALE OR FEMALE ? _____ ________________ __ __ SEE WEATHER IT IS USING "PAD" OR NOT !!!

152.A LADY GOES 2 A DOCTOR.& ASKS CAN U MAKE A SMALL HOLE ON THE SIDE OF MY HOLE? DOCTOR ASK Y? SHE REPLIES-B'COZ I WANT 2 START A SIDE BUSINESS.

153.DOCTORS SAY, PENIS IS THE GREATEST BREAKFAST BECAUSE IT HAS A MUSHROOM HEAD. A HOTDOG, 2 EGGS AND CREAM, WHICH PROVIDES ALL THE NUTREINTS TO MAKE WOMEN HEALTHY.

154.You are Charming,Handsome, Optimistic, Dashing, Understanding. In short you are a C.H.O.D.U.

155.what did stayfree tell to condom ? Boss, if u fail, both of us will be out of business for next 9 months.

156.A Girl Selling Sandwich Asked A Sardar :: " Sardar Ji SANDWICH LOGE?" Sardar Ji replied, :: " O Kamliye Sand wich kyon Room Wich Kyon Nahi."

157.A SAD STORY: A little boy was so jealous of his new born brother. He put poison on the nipple of his Mom while she was asleep. The next day, their driver died!

158.Arab: i hv 4 sons 1 mor i'll hv basketbol team! American: i hv 9 sons 1 mor i'll hv futbol teaM Muslim: i hv 17 wives 1 mor n i'll hv golf course w/ 18 holes.

159.PAV DABATE HUVE HUAA SAAS KA GAGRA UNCHA BAHUNE KIYA PRANAME SAAS BOLI KYO? BAHU BOLI MERE SASUR KI KARMBUMI AUR MERE PATTIKI JANAMBUMI KO PRANAM!!

160. girl goes2 repair an umbrela man says NICHE KA KAPDA NIKALNA PADEGA & ROD BHI DAL NA PADEGA, girl replys KUCH BHI KARO LEKIN PAANI ANDHER NAHI AANA CHAHIYE....

161.Whats the difference between BIOLOGY and SOCIOLOGY? Ans : When a kid looks like his father, its BIOLOGY, when a kid looks like his neighbour its SOCIOLOGY !!!!!

162.Sardar & wife waiting at signal. a tapori comes aside n says 'kyu paaji Rakhel hai kya?' surdar furious. says ' oy paendi, rakhel hogi teri.. meri to biwi hai

163.TEACHER - WHY IS THE BUFFELO ALWAYS SAD ? STUDENT - MAM WHAT WOULD U DO IF SOMEONE SQUEEZED YOR NIPPLES FOR 2 HRS DAILY AND DIDNOT FUCK U !

164.kehte hai aurat ke haath me barkat hoti hai,bilkul sahi hai,3 inch ka haath me do to, 7 inch ka karke deti hai.

165.A SARDAR 2 A SINDHI"TELL ME A JOKE IN WHICH IM NT INVOLVED.SINDHI"YOUR WIFE IS PREGNENT".

166.GIRL:swimming sikhate waqt mere pvt. part mein ungli kyaun dalte ho? Instructor: woh isliye ke agar hole se paani under gaya to tum doob jaogi !

167.SarDar apni bivi se kahata hai mene ladka manga tha ladki kase ho gayi? Sardarni retorts tumahare bharose rahati to ye bhi nahi hoti !

168.25 USELESS THINGS IN A MAN? 20 NAILS, 2 NIPPLES THAT DOESNT MILK. 2 BALLS THAT U CAN NOT PLAY WITH. AND A COCK THAT DOESNT LAY EGG?

169.A lady sat on my LAPTOP, I laid her on my DESKTOP and RAM my HARDWARE in2 her SOFTWARE and after lots of INPUT and OUTPUT finally DOWNLOADED

170. What do u call the penis of: small men:COMPACT DICKS, aliens:LASER DICKS, old men:FLOPPY DICKS young men:HARD DICKS Chinese & Pakis:PIRATED DICKS

171.A hawker is selling Salman Khan pills,"1 khaoge to lamba hoga,2 khaoge to khamba hoga,3 khaoge to... rand boli,"abey bhosdike..,chodta hai ki khodta hai!"

172. An English woman interviewing a punjabi woman : "What is ur daily routine?". The punjabi woman replied- "Sara din chulle agge, sari raat lulle agge"

173. Grandson : Do U had Salman Khan with Grandma ? Grandad: Only oral Salman Khan. Grandson: What's dat? Grandad : I shout at her FucK U and she shouts back "FucK u too"

174.4 miracles of a woman: Gettin wet without takin a shower, Bleedin without being hurt, Giving milk without eating grass, and Making Boneless flesh Hard .

175.OLD LADY:i want birth control pills DOC:what good is it 4 u OLD LADY:it helps me sleep better DOC:how OLD LADY:i just put them in my grandaughters orange juice

176. Q: How is a condom like a Kodak print? A: They both capture that special moment

177.PANTIES ARE DEFINATELY NOT THE BEST THING ON EARTH BUT ARE VERY CLOSE TO BEST THING ON EARTH.

178.WHAT MEN DO ABT SEX? AT AGE 20= THRICE WEEKLY ATAGE 30= TRIES WEEKLY AT 40=TRIES WEAKLY AT 50=TRIES AND TRIES AT 60 TRIES AND CRIES AT 70=TRIES AND DIES!

179.What is the defination of a gynac? A.He is the only fool on earth who looks for problems in places where most people find pleasure

180.DEAR GOOD NIGHT.BAND KAR DE LIGHT, LUND KAR TIGHT, DAL DE UNDER SLIGHT CHUT SE KAR THODI FIGHT, NIKLEGA JAB WHITE WHITE, U WILL FEEL ALRIGHT. SWEET DREAMS.

181. WHAT IS KISS? KISS IS AN INQUIRY IN THE 1ST FLOOR , ABOUT VACANCY IN THE GR.FLOOR.

182. ADVANTAGES OF BREAST MILK:A)NO NEED 2 BOIL B)CAT CAN'T STEAL IT C)AVAILABLE IN ATTRACTIVE CONTAINERS D) POPULAR IN ALL AGE GROUPS E) EK PE EK FREE

183.Son:Mom w do babies com from? Mom:when daddy puts his penis in mom's vagina. Son:but that day u had daddy's penis in ur mouth Mom:thats for getng jwelery

184.1day,a clerk saw her boss's pants unzip!She ask"Boss!Ur garage doors open!"Boss:"do u c my FERRARI?" CLERK:"No! i c a SMALL scooter wit 2 punctured tyres."

185. HUSBAND:Pls Aaj karne Do.Mai Tumhein Kapde La Dunga WIFE:"No" Zevar La Dunga "No" Ghar Le Dunga "No" BETA BOLA: Abu Meri Gand Marlo aur CYCLE DILADO

186.I Wanna thank god 4 puttin u on EARTH I wanna thank d SUN 4 bein at ur birth i wanna thank d stars 4 givin u LIFE but mostly ur parents 4 gettin horny dat NIGHT

187.Excited man returns Home & tells Wife"Darlin I got 4 Good Tyres for the price of1.Wife"U stupid man,we don't even hv a Car".Man "do I coment when u buy ur Bras

188.BUSH SHOWING HIS PENIS: THIS IS POWER OF AMERICA, QUEEN SHOWING HER PUSSY: THIS IS BEAUTY OF U.K VAJPAYEE SHOWING HIS ASS: THIS IS PARTITIONOF INDIA & PAKISTAN.

189. Saans aur bahu main hamesha anban kyo ? Kyonki jo ladke ki underwear saans ne 25 saal sambali woh bahu ne 2 minute main utari.

190.jab gabbar singh paida hua to usne apni ma se kya poocha ?????????????????????????? kitne aadmi the?!!!!

191.DRACULA ASKED GOD,"MAY I BE REINCARNATED AS A WHITE ANGEL WITH WINGS & STILL SUCK BLOOD?"GOD SAID "TATHASTU!AND DRACULA BECAME SANITARY PAD!!

192.What do guys usually say after Sex? - I LUV U? Wr@ng! - THAT WAS GREAT? Wr@ng again! - I LUV IT? Wr@ng AGAIN!! The Answer is: oh where r my fuckin clothes.

193. NEVER FUCK A TEL OPERATOR - AFTER 3MTS SHE'LL SAY YOUR TIME OUER. N'VR FUCK A NURSE SHE'LL SAY NEXT PLS. BUT FUCK A TEACHER SHE'LL SAY REPEAT 5 TIMES!

194.LABOR LAW: Does penis deserve overtime & hazard pay? YES, because it works in deep, damp, hot and smelly tunnels, often head down and mostly in night shift!

195.WHY IS GOLF CALLED A WRONG GAME?BECAUSE U HOLD A STICK AND PUT THE BALLS IN THE HOLE INSTEAD OF HOLDING THE BALLS AND PUTTING THE STICK IN THE HOLE.

196. A bra falls on a doodhwala entering a building. He looks up and shouts.... "Oh Behenji, aapke doodh ka dhakkan gir gaya!

197. HOW TO USE PREPAID SEX: 1.Scratch d protective panty 2.Press d nipple 3.Enter d penis 4.A voice will confirm if your Éntry is Successful. AAH!-OOH!. SUCKSEXFULL

198.NIPPLE NIPPLE DONT BE FAR. CAN I PRESS U LITTLE HARD. UP ABOVE THE CHEST SO HIGH. ALWAYS MILKY NEVER DRY LET ME SUCK YOU DONT FEEL SHY IN THE BRA YOU WILL DIE !

199.A sardarni went4 a swim in a BRA & PANTY!The coach said "Ma'am,a 2-piece costume is not allowed here." Sardarni asks "Kaun sa utaroon ?!"

200. 7 qualities of a perfct husband: Brave, Intelligent, Gutsy, Polite, Energetic, Nutty, Industrious n Self-Organized. In short, he must have B.I.G.P.E.N.I.S

201.Why was the 2 piece bikini invented? Ans:2 seperate the HAIRY part from the DAIRY part!

202.Whore - Hi, boy wants to have Salman Khan? Man - Ok, only if U do it like my wife does it! Whore - I can do it! So how does she do it?Man: she does it for free!

203.LOVE MAKING IN CRICKET TERMS- Remove the covers. Fiddle with the points. Stretch the fine legs.Takeout short leg.Put in deep gully & start playing the balls.

204.Q:>why r women considered stronger than men? A:>bcoz women carry two mountains on their chest, while men carry only two stones with the help of a crane!!!

205. Why did snowhite complain after a fuck with the seven dwarfs. Because she wanted seven inches one time not one inch seven times..

206.MAN IS BORN THRU A HOLE. AFTER GROWING UP HE SEARCHES FOR 'HOLES'. AFTER HE DIES HE IS BURRIED IN A HOLE. THAT'S WHY MAN HAS A NICKNAME: "FUCKIN' ASS'HOLE".

207.LITTLE GIRL: Mommy, i just found out that our neighbor's son has a penis like a peanut! MOM: You mean it's small? GIRL:No,it's salty!

208.A NURSE WALKIN THRU THE HOSP.WITH 1 BOOB HANGING OUT OF UNIFORM. THE SR. DOC CAUGHT HER. SHE SAID-THESE WARD BOYS NEVER PUT BACK ANYTHING IN PLACE AFTER USING

209. NEWS FLASH India's cricket team has a new sponsor: "stayfree sanitary napkins". The BCCI thought it appropriate since the team is going thru a bad period

210.A stockbroker catches his wife in bed with another man..& he says to her,"Whats going on??"..She says believe it or not, honey..I've gone PUBLIC...

211.tell me.is it going in?..yeah ..is it hurting?.. ooh yeah ouch its hurting..ok i will put it slowly. still hurting.. aah yeah..then lets try the other shoe sir

212.Remember: If u need a FUCK, u can always count on me, bcoz F.U.C.K stands for FRIEND U CAN KEEP. Fuck 4ever,n promise me dat we FUCK till eternity!

213. how did gabbar singh avoid having kids???after screwing, he would tell his wife-'ab goli khaa'

214.Who had the worst role in SHOLAY? THAKUR's servant, since THAKUR was not able to wash his ass

215.A Husband Was Asked:Do you talk to your wife after Salman Khan? His Answer: Depends, If I Can find a Phone.

216. An executive returns home after having DOGGY STYLE Salman Khan with his Salman Khany secretary. His wife asks: Where have u been? He replies: ln my office working like a DOG!

217.Definition of a BACHELOR - A man who has missed the opportunity of makin some woman miserable.

218.Wife pointing at a couple next door sayz to her husband "look at him he kisses her all the time, why can't u do that". Husband "I tried but she slapped me".

219.A LADY ENTERED THE Dr'S CABIN & SAID,I HAVE A VIBRATOR STUCK UP MY VAGINA. Dr: OK U LIE DOWN & I'LL TRY TO GET'T OUT. LADY: OH NO JUST CHANGE THE BATTERIES.

220. A Cop catches a girl on charge of prostitution. Girl to cop :I'm SAFE SEX EDUCATOR, I'm not selling Salman Khan ! I'm selling condoms, with free demonstration!!

221.Girlfriends are appetizers. Tastes good at any time. Mistresses are PIZZAS. Hot & spicy.Eaten frequently. WIFES are CURD RICE. Eaten when there"s nothin!!+<01>

222. Early to bed early to rise, and ur girl will go out with additional guys.

223.A man walked into a ladies toilet. A lady inside got furious & shouted "This is exclusively for women" The man unzips his pants & says "This too!"

224.HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN: caress, excite,cuddle, fascinate,spoil, kiss,rub,tease, pamper,console, adore,worship, respect & love. HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN: a blow job

225.ant & elephant share a nite of romance. next morn. ant wakes up & the elephant is dead. damn, says d ant, 1 nite of pasion & i spnd rest of life diggin a grave!

226.She took off his pants gently and wispered:Make me feel like a woman... He smiled, threw the pants at her and said: Go wash it.

227.Ye desh hai veer jvano ka,yahan mota lund kisano ka!Jab raat k 12 bajte hai hum muth mara karte hai,ehsan kisi ka nahi lete hatho se guzara karte hai

228.Aisi apni girl friend ho, 5'5" jiski height ho, weight me thodi light ho, bable uske right ho, umer me farak slight ho, magar CHODNE me hamesha TIGHT HO!

229. "Aashiq ka janaja kabar mein pada hai... Ashiq ka janaja kabar mein pada hai... Haddiyaan gal gayi lund abhi bhi khada Pada hai!"

230.IS JAHAN ME AAE HO, TO KUCH AAISA KAR JAAO KADARDAN. JISS GALI SE GUZRO, AAWAZ AAE ABBAJAAN ABBAJAAN.

231.Palat ke dekh jalim, tamanna hum bhi rakhte hai,husn tum rakhti ho to jawani hum bhi rakhte hai gehrai tum rakhti ho to lambai hum bhi rakhte hai

232.khuda ki kasam main tumhara nahin hoon,main ek nadi hoon kinara nahin hoon,takti hoo kyon tum mujhe muskura ke,main shadi shuda hoon kunwara nahin hoon

233.Boy:?Khoon se likhta hoon, syhayee na samjho,Pyar karta hoon tumse, bhai na samjho
Girl: Khoon se likhte ho, syhayee nahin mili kya,Pyar mujse karte ho, koi aur nahin mili kya?,Boy:?Syhaheyan to bahut hai par khoon jaisi kahan,Ladkiyan to bahut hai par tum jaisi kahan

234.Voh Sadak Ke Us Paar Thi,,Hum Sadak Ke Is Paar The ,,Kuch Hum Aage Badhe, Kuch Voh Aage Badhi Hum ,,Kuch Aur Aage Badhe, Voh Bhi Kuch Aur Aage Badhi ,,Hum Aur Bhi Aage Badhe, Voh Bhi Aur Aage Badhi ,,Ab Hum Sadak Ke Us Paar Hein, ,Aur Voh Sadak Ke Is Paar Hein,,

235.Tere leno ko meri jaan,banaya kamra alishaan.Teri gaand hain mast bawandar,jinme ghuse ga lund commander, Chootad bajwa le meri jaan, banaya kamra alishaan!!!!

236. Jise dil diya vo delhi chali gayi,jisse pyar kiya vo italy chali gayi,dil ne kaha khudkushi karle zalim,bijli ko hath lagaya to bijli chali gayi!

237. Prabhu te to khari kari, be pag vache bari kari, uppar mukya doodhna be haanda, e haanda joine halva lagya sahoonaa daandaa ! ! !

238.aye gaandu kar tu khudko itna buland, ki jab qayamat par tum khade ho tab khuda tumse yeh pooche, tumhe kaunsi apsara ki gand hai pasand!!!!

239.A CHACHA CHACHI DONO LAFANGE BISTER PE LETE DONO NANGE , CHACHI KO LAGI THAND , CHACHA NE NIKALA LUND CHACHI BOLI YE KYA , CHACHA BOLA STAIN GUN

240.GARIB AUR BALL KO SABHI DABATE HAI * GAnd AUR BOMB KAHI BHI FAT SAKTE HAI * PANI AUR LUNND APNI JAGAH KHUD BANATE HAI * KISMAT AUR BRA KABHI BHI KHUL SAKTI HAI.

245.SHARAB EK BIMARI HAI,JO IS SAMAAJ KO BARBAAD KAR RAHI HAI.AAO KASAM KHAYEN KI ISE PEE PEE KAR KHATAM KAR DENGE.!

246.Khud Ko Kar Buland Itna Ki Himalay Ki Choti Pe Ja Pahunche, Aur Khuda Tujse Khud Puche, Bata Chutiye, Ab Uteraga Kaise?

247.Aankhon mein vahi jaam liye, honthon pe vahi muskan liye, kahan chali ho JAANEMAN, SEENE pe dairy-farm liye

248. Tired Guju comes home his lugai on bed Guju asks kuch sabzi roti pakai hai ya yuhi chut fellai hai. -Wife kuch atta chawal laye ho ya sirf land uthake ayeho??

249.Boy :kaash mein teri chaddi hota to teri jannat se chipka hota. Girl : saley soch le, main chuda rahi hti aur tu kone mein pada hota!

250.Woman visiting dentist, gets into her chair,lowers her panties,lifts her legs. Dentist: I'm no gynac. Woman: I know, I want you to pull out my husband's teeth.

251.woh raat diwali vali thi,woh piya se chudne vali thi,koi duja aake chod gaya,land ko lehnge se poch gaya,uski ma ne kiya virodh,tu kaise chudi bina nirodh .

252.Bevafa tum ho to wafadar hum bhi nahi, besharam tum ho to sharmdar ham bhi nahi, pyar ke is mod par ake kehte ho shadishudha tum ho to kuware ham bhi nahi.

253..Rich man to a very poor man: How come you have got such a BIG PENIS ? Poor man : Because when I was a little boy I had NO other TOY to PLAY with !

254.A lady tells her man, I demand good manners in bed just like at the dinner table. The man climbs in2 bed slowly,smiles & says"Honey would u pass the vagina pls"

255.Touch it gently ., put your finger inside , if hole is big ,put three fingers , rub it up and down gently .. thats the right way of washing the glass !!

256.2Boy goes 4 blood test.Nurse takes de sample & cant find cotton so sucks his finger ! Boy is so happy he asks,"Can I get a urine test done?"

257.The average depth of the female vagina is 16cm. The average length of an erect penis is 12cm. So in Bombay there is still about 812975km of unused pussy.Wow

258.A NEWLY WEDDED COUPLE GOES FOR HONEYMOON
FOR TWO WEEKS BUT RETURNS AFTER ONE WEEK, ON ASKING HE REPLIES, A "WHOLE WEEK" IS ENOUGH TO MAKE THE "HOLE WEAK"!

259.Tv journalist asked laloo, why do you have 9 children" he replied "kyonki hum rubber se jyada raabri ko use kiya hoon na.

260.Eve: "Adam, do u love me?" Adam: "No I don't!" Eve: (crying) "Then, why did you fuck me?" Adam: "Hello! As if i had no other choices!"

261.Girl talk:which r the 5 mithais (sweets) u will find under a man's underwear? 2 ladoos, 1 cream roll, jalli hui seviyan & lots of kheer.

262.if u have 2 eggs between ur legs , u r a man , but if u have 4 eggs between ur legs , dont think u r super man , there is some one fucking u

263. When does the skin meets skin, hair meets hair and the balls disappear?.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . DIRTY MIND! Whenever you blink your eyes :

264.BUILDER"S SON: PAPA PAPA MUJHE BAHEN CHHAIYE . BUILDER : BETA USME TO 9 MAHINE LAGENGE SON: TO DOCHAR AADMI OR LAGADO

265.SASARIYAMA GAITI NE RAT AAKHI RAHITI. BAND KARI BATI NE MANE KARI CHATI. NADI NEFA KHOLYA NE NAGDADA DOLYA KISS AVI KIDHI KE KOKAKOLA PIDHI. BOL EVA DABYA K TENIS RAMVA LAGYA.HUTO RAHI BORI ME HATHE KARI PORI. METO RAD PADI NE CHUT MARI FADI PACH PACH BOLE NE MANDU MARU DOLE LAKDA JEVO GHALYO NE LOCHA JEVO KADHIYO RAT AAKHI JAGADI NE GAGRI MARI BAGADI PACHI TONALIYA UAPER NALIYU NE CHODE AAKHU FALIYU

266.BOY: 2 HINCH KI GUFA 5 MINUTE KA MAJA, AKHKHA GUS GAYA TO 9 MAHINE KI SAZA GIRL: A LAND E NADAN, TUNE KAHA DEKHA CHUTO KA MEDAN, JO AAYA AKADKE WO GAYA LABDKE

267.VARTA RE VARTA BABA GAND MARTA EK CHHOKRI CHODANI, GAND PASE GHAVANI GAND FATI AADI CHHOKRI E RAAD PADI, ARARARA MADI, LODO CHHE KE KUHADI!!!!

268.DIFFERENT TYPE OF SEX: ENGLISH- OH YES, OH YESSS! AMERICAN - YEAH BABY, YEAAAAAH, INDIAN-OoooEeee MAAAAA! PAKISTAN- DHIRE BHIYA JAN MUMMY JAG JAYEGI

269.BSNL PRESENT GUJARATI GIT MALA ODHNI ODHU ODHU NE UDI JAY TUTO NAGI KEHVAY TARA BOBLA DEKHAY TARO BHOSDO CHODAY MARA LODDA NE KAI KAI THAI

270.TWO TWINS TALKING INSIDE MOTHERS WOMB WHEN A PENIS ENTER,TWIN ONESAY"S: ARE YE TO PAPA HAI, TWIN SAY"S:ABE GADHE YE TO BAJU WALE UNCLE HAI, PAPA RAINCOAT NAHI PAHENTE....!

271.WIFE:Suno ji, kutto ko kaise pata chalta hai ki kuttiya ka mann kar raha hai Salman Khan karne ka?? Husband:Soongh ke..Wife:To tumhe kya zukam he

272.BABO: mari mummy ne jaadu avde che, mumy PAPA ni PP haath ma pakde to PP moti thai jai. pachi mumy ghagro unchki PP upar besi ne oye ma bole TO aakhi PP gayab.

273.Sardar brings roses 4 wife, biwi khush hui aur kapde utaar ke late gayi aur apni taange failali. Sardar : kamini, ghar me phool-daan nahi hai kya?!

274.Arz hai... Teer kya chalati ho dhaar to talvar me hai, teer kya chalati ho dhaar to talvar me hai. Duppatte se kya chupati ho, maal to salvar me hai.

275.Kudrat tari karigari,be pag vache bari kari,aju baju fulwari kari,tema pachhi pichkari kari,etlu to thik pan duniya akhi ne ani divani kari

276.11 girls wants 11 bananas so asked banana seller. Seller ne kaha main darjan hi bechta hoon. Ek ladki ne kaha "lele yaar, ek khalenge".

277.Sardar ki jaang jal gayi. Dr. ne Burnol aur Viagara likh ke diya.Sardar bola burnol to samjha par viagra kyo? Dr: Usse lungi unchi rahegi

278.Bhut ko chudel se pyar ho gaya bola chalna dono chodte hai. Chudel - chalo. Bhut - lekin kaha ? Chudel - Bhoshdike kahi bhi chod le na hame kaun dekhnewala hai?

279.Husband on SUHAGRAAT: Main teri zulfon mein khoya hoon,teri ankhon mein dooba hoon,tere jhumke pe atka hoon!..Wife: "Toh phir neeche kya mohallewale ayenge?".

280.Bhigi bhosh teri pyasa lund mera. Lage rand sa muje tan tera. Kabhi mere sath koi raat gujar. Tuje subha tak me padau rad HOY BAPA................... Hoy

281.Bus me bhid thi.MAN:Madam aapke SANTRE dab rahe hai thoda pichhe rahiye. MADAM:Dabne do,SANTRE mere hai aapko kya? MAN:Lekin JUICE mera nikal rha hai uska kya

282.A sardar and a girl were having Salman Khan suddenly sardar asks- Do u have AIDS?
Girl: No.
Sardar: Thank god, i dont want to get that again..!

283.GALIB CHUTIA DAB KAR MAR GAYA DEEWAR KE NICHE, AAH MAHUTARMA HAM TO MARANGE TERI SALWAR KE NICHE!!!

284.Guy:Can I touch ur software? Girl:First show me ur hardware. Guy:Come sit down on my joystick. Girl:My disk is not protected,u'll infect me with virus.

285.SUNDAY MENU: CHUTPAAK PURI,VAGHARELA GOTYA,AAKHA LODA NU SHAAK,SURTI JHAAT NO SAMBHAR!DESERT : EK PLATE GU MALAI MAARKE.THALI NA FAKTA RS.25/-! SP.INTRO.OFFER!

286.Man was sobbing in a Bar. His friend asked why? He said my wife is making me pay Rs 00 for every Fuck ! Friend said u r lucky she charges others Rs2500!

287.guy says 2+2is4, 4+5is9 i can get into urs but u cant get into mine. GIRL replies 2+2is4, 4+5is9 i can know the length of urs but u cant know the depth of mine

289. A husband said to his wife if u r in mood of Salman Khan just shake my dick twice i'll understand. Wife asked if i m not then. Husband replied then shake it 50 60 times

290.A little boy and a girl in a bathtub having a bath.Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy."Can I touch it?No way-you already broke yours!:-)

291.Teacher:Why did you bring your cat to school? Stu:Coz I pity my cat. Teacher:WHY? Stu:Coz I heard my sister's boyfriend say to her"TONITE I WILL EAT YOUR PUSSY"

292. Kid: how baby comes into the world? Dad: in the moonlight, an angel comes to earth and leaves a kid in mom's lap. kid: you mean fucking is useless!!!

293. Boy:Can I kiss U? Girl:Where On vertical or horizontal lips? Boy:Wot? Girl: I mean on upper or lower lips? Boy: I didnt get u? Girl: Banchod, hontpe ya chut pe

294. Sex is a sensation caused by temptation, a man puts his dicktation in a womens ventilation to satisfy frustration got my conversation or need a demonstration?"

295.How do you teach a girl maths ? Add a bed, substract her clothes, divide her legs, enter your sqaure root, leave your solution and hope she doesn't multiply !

Read karty reho or mast reho
Add me dears


hum hum h tum tum ho hum dono me pgl kon h???


Assalaam alaikum

hw r u all ??

Adzy


mere jitne bhi frendss hai pls yaar gande comnt mat karna meri pics ya status pe ok aj hi 12 logo ko block kari hu so plsss .... U ll be the next ok


assalam o alaikum

frnds ek uljhan hai
kon suljha sakta hai pls

who kon si cheez hai jo

fridger me rakhne ke baad bhi

garam rehti hai


Killlerr shayaris !!
Using ur brain is prohibited...
1) Mehbooba ke pyaar mein mar gaya peter,
Hero Honda Splendor 80km/Litre
2) IPL ke matches dekh ke logon ko maza aa raha hai,
12 saal se CID ka Daya ek hi Qualis Chala raha hai
3) Na jaan na pehchaan, tu mera mehmaan,
and the award goes to A.R.Rehman.
4) Manchester United mein khelta hai ROONEY
ACP Pradhuymann ne kaha " aakhir chahta kya hain khooni"
5) Kisiko na thi, mere pyaar ki khabar,
Kisiko na thi, mere pyaar ki khabar,
Diagram galat ho gaya, rubber de rubber
6) Teri adao pe main waari waari..
Dial 139 for railway enquiry.
7) Na jeene ki aarzoo na marne kakhauf..
The number you're trying is currently switched off.
Apne gamo ko bas dil me daba lo
Naya godrej powder hair dye, bas kaato gholo aur laga lo
9) yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak....
Cameraman praful ke saath deepak chaurasia AAJ TAK..
10) mehgai ke is daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
mehgai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano ramesh babu...
11) mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan...
mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan..
LIFEBUOY hai jahan tandurusti hai wahan...
12) Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna...
Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna...
BASANTI in kutton ke samne mat nachna....
13) Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...
Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala...
Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala ..!!
14) Romeo ne juliet se kaha ek sach..
Romeo ne juliet se kaha ek sach..
Asali masale sach sach
MDH.....MDH ...!
15) 1 ladki ne kiya ladke ko gaal pe kiss
1 ladki ne kiya ladke ko gaal pe kiss
Mutual funds are subjected to market risk
16) Aatma Gayi Shareer Puraana ...
Aatma Chhod Gayi Shareer Puraana ..
Didi Tera Devar Deewana ..
17) Naach bulbul naach, tujhe paisa milega
hum CID se hain, koi apne jagah se nahi hilega


Confession 10678

22 M From punjab.
Meri g.f ne mujhe 1 saal pehle cheat kiya. Aur ab wo vapis mujhse maafi maang rhi hai. Mujhe kya karna chahiye??

#AdminSJS


itni baarish hui main to jaam mein fans gai :(


^-^ kon kon bore ho raha hai ???

Online chatter's <3

let's start chatting wid setting :D

#cHexXii #cHoCo


online hit like

letz start chat <3


Mission Start For Unfriend For Unlikers.........


MY TOP 10 FACEBOOK FRIENDS (MALE).....

Mohsin Mohammed
Asif Eqbal
Md Böðý Gùãrð Sälmåñ
Ishqzaada KiNg SAm
ηανιδ κμαη
Ãmmú Róçkzz
Lønèly Böy Ayän Khån
Aftab Khan
ŠĦẳĭk Fêŕøż ƛĦmệð
Arshu Syed

MY TOP 5 FACEBOOK FRIENDS (FEMALE)

Princess Ash
Farhath unnisa
Amreen shah
Sana shaikh
Zoyakhan Khan....

I jus wan2 say u.
Thanks for being my friend
Thanks for thinking about me
Thanks for caring about me
Thanks for everything you did for me... :)


I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT

About u.........even in my dreams ur scolding me and make me cry........after u see me crying u.....hug me and whisper in my ears......ur idiot gal....i luv u the way u are......

Then i wake up.....and i feel tears in my eyes..(",)


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